Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Become
Wrong verb form
Becoming
show examples
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
in a
such
specialist qualification is a must amongst
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
. Some higher educational institutions aim for their pupils to study not only fundamental ones but
also
additional educational program
courses
, meanwhile, others assume that it is more critical to allocate their time and pay attention to the subject that they are qualified. I perceive that
this
condition would have some impact on the
students
later on.
Thus
, I would like to explain both of those conditions and the following additional reasons. In order to be a specialist qualification in the subjects,
students
should have
allocated
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a clear timetable
while
studying. As it is so,
students
would have enough time to cover all the specific material
while
studying to get
in-depth
Add an article
an in-depth
show examples
understanding. When it comes to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
succeed,
students
could be a role model for other
students
. As time goes by,
students
will
easier mastery
Replace the word
easily master
show examples
some specific skills that they are focusing on and easier to figure it out when it comes to honing some skills.
In contrast
,
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
some additional
courses
apart from the initial
courses
is a necessity as well. Because, when it comes to
solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems in the workplace situation, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no boundaries whether it is connected with the subject that you
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
before.
For example
, learning English or other languages might be just conducted by Social Science only,
whereas
, Natural Science might be abandoned. In fact, using English and other languages could
impressed
Change the verb form
impress
show examples
the soft-skills quality of the
individuat
Correct your spelling
individual
,
such
as a pitching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new prototype
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
products towards
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
foreigner
Replace the word
foreign
show examples
investor. In conclusion, inserting some additional subjects in terms of the mandatory subjects
while
the
students
are studying
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
debatable. From my point of view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adding extra
courses
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
really important, as it could enhance their capabilities and competencies in the workplace.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Task Achievement: The essay discusses both views and provides an opinion, which meets the basic requirements of the task. However, the opinions could be developed more fully with stronger arguments and clearer explanations, leading to a more complete response. Furthermore, the essay would benefit from the use of more precise and relevant examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The overall structure of the essay is acceptable, with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the essay lacks clear and effective transitions between ideas, making it more difficult to follow. Connecting sentences and ideas more smoothly could significantly improve the logical flow. Additionally, paragraphing could be more consistently used to separate and organise ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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