IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

you are not satisfied with the changing rooms in the sports center that you visit .write a letter to the manager. what the problem is how feel about the problem what steps you want the manager to take

#rooms #sports #center #visit #manager #steps
Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well, I am writing a letter about our Kilinochchi district sports centre changing
room
,yesterday I went to an important meeting , after finishing the meeting I went changing
room
 to change my sports clothes. that
time
 I faced and saw many problems they are facing daily. on the one hand, there are 20 members. but their
room
 size is very small. they spend a lot of
time
 waiting. because their
room
 size is small so they can not do the work at the same
time
 for every person. So they feel dissatisfied. changing
room
 is very very small and does not have neat and space.
Furthermore
, we will arrange the changing
room
 for our sports centre members very quickly, because they will do the practice for more
time
 so can not wait to change
room
, and we will arrange a meeting with them and need to analyse their problems and will solve them very quickly. so we will stop adding new members.
after
this
 problem solving we will plan next. we will meet very soon sincerely, Mathusha.P
Submitted by ajeevatharsan on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs contain a single clear idea, are well-developed and appropriately separated. The content in your letter needs clearer organization focusing on one issue per paragraph.
Task Achievement
Start with a more courteous greeting, provide a brief introduction to the problem before expanding on it, and end with a more formal closure that summarizes the main points and your expectation for a solution.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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