some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.

On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the contemporary era,
one
of the most significant issues is our acceptance
toward
Change preposition
of
show examples
different situations, especially the hard ones. People usually
expose
Wrong verb form
exposed
show examples
to disparate
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
in their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
or about their income, but their method to confront
this
issue could be different. It is an undeniable fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life, in spite of all
benefits
Correct pronoun usage
its benefits
show examples
, has enormous drawbacks, too.
One
of the problems
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
living in
this
world is
dependency
Add an article
a dependency
the dependency
show examples
of human
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
job and
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
satisfaction after habited to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
bad situation;
for example
, consider all polices who have to work all the time
for bringing
Change preposition
to bring
show examples
safety to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, but who care about their problems like shortage of salary and over-working? Absolutely no
one
, and
this
issue won't be solved in the future
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
unless the own
polices
Change the verb form
police
show examples
make demonstrations against
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
and their problems to solve in the parliament or other law courts.
On the other hand
, the other group argue that we should make an effort to alter unsatisfactory by ourselves.
This
group are more liberal and
are believe
Wrong verb form
believes
show examples
more
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
democracy
Replace the word
democratic
show examples
values. So if they
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have any problem, they just easily indicate it and if it
would be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
necessary, they fight for it;
for instance
, when university students have any problem in my country, they amplify their voice and shout
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
rights easily because they profoundly believe that they should acquire what is belongs to them. As far as I am concerned, we should not underestimate the power of
group
Add an article
the group
a group
show examples
. when a person shouts lonely, no
one
would care
Wrong verb form
cares
show examples
about him,
while
when a huge queue of protests
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
show examples
for their rights, they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
change and refurbish anything.
Overall
, I believe that we should trust
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other and try to stand
for
Change preposition
up for
show examples
our rights because it is the only way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
boosting
Verb problem
improve
show examples
the situation.
Submitted by tg.persian on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure you fully understand the prompt and present a clear position throughout your essay, as both views and your opinion were not clear and fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices and paragraphs clearly to achieve a logical organization of information.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and clearer explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing appropriately, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to structure your essay coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!