Some people think it is more important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family
Many people today have argued that
theyyou
need to choose to spend Correct your spelling
you
time
either with family and friends
or dedicateing
it to Correct your spelling
dedicating
dedicate
work
. In my opinion, while
spending more time
for
Change preposition
on
work
demonstrates commitment and contributes to skill improvement, prioritizing time
with family and friends
is more
preferable.
On the one hand, spending more Correct quantifier usage
apply
time
at work
will help peopleyou
to improve Correct your spelling
people you
people
theiryour
skills and abilities in Correct your spelling
their your
work spaces
compared to Correct your spelling
workspaces
otheryour
coworkers. Because experiences build skills Correct your spelling
other your
such
as problem solving
, Add a hyphen
problem-solving
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
work
and leadership,.
These skills are essential in Change the punctuation
,
.
workplace
that
enhancing their potential to get a higher position. Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
Afterall
, Correct your spelling
After all
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
position
will have a higher salary, Fix the agreement mistake
positions
therefore
they do not need to worry about finances to fulfill
daily Change the spelling
fulfil
needed
or Replace the word
needs
spending
extra money for travelling or for their kid’s education.
Wrong verb form
spend
On the other hand
, allocating more time
for family and friends
helps people to build a
strong Correct article usage
apply
bonding
and relations as they may need someone who can Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
support
them in a hard situation. there are a lot of cases where an individual wants to give up but their family and friends
’ support
from family and friends
helps them to keep up and keep going. This
is crucial as it encourage
them to not Change the verb form
encourages
loss
hope Replace the word
lose
facing
a difficulty in their life which sometimes if Rephrase
when facing
this
is
For instance
, when someone is sick, Correct article usage
the family
family
is who Correct article usage
the family
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
take
care of them and when they in their lowest point, they ask Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
Change preposition
for support
support
and advice from devoted Change preposition
for support
friends
. This
come
from a tight bond between you and your close-knit which Change the verb form
comes
born
from Add a missing verb
is born
countless
Correct article usage
the countless
time
you have spent with them. Having people to rely on make
you enjoy and happy in life.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
although
working overtime improves your personal growth and financesial
, unwavering Correct your spelling
financial
finances
support
from family and friends
is crucial to give you courage
and strength to keep going.Correct article usage
the courage
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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in the use of pronouns; decide between 'people/they' and 'you/your' and maintain that choice throughout the essay to maintain formal tone and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices effectively and vary their usage to avoid repetition, help in the creation of a more natural flow throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with clear topic sentences, followed by explanations and examples that are both relevant and extended to fully support the argument.
task achievement
Respond to all parts of the task equally. Make sure both sides of the argument are well represented and balanced to demonstrate a full understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Clearly present ideas and ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument or purpose of the essay, avoiding unclear or repetitive statements.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or hypothetical situations to illustrate points, to make the arguments more substantive and persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.