IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

should a nation invest in transportation? discuss both views ans express an opinion

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Whereas
Linking Words
 there is a prevalent belief among people that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enhancing the status of
transportation
Use synonyms
 must not be prioritized by a nation, some other groups assert that mounting the modernity of
transportation
Use synonyms
 must be strived by all nations. Both viewpoints will be assessed in
this
Linking Words
 essay
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 giving proper examples. Not much effort is dedicated in many
countries
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 upgrading their social facilities as many governors claim that there are more prominent sections in which
countries
Use synonyms
 should invest and attempt.
For instance
Linking Words
, many responsible
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 that their
countries
Use synonyms
 are required to be upgraded in infrastructures and spending too much money just for making
transportation
Use synonyms
 status seems to be kind of inconsideration.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is a widespread notion
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
 accordance with,
remarkably
Correct article usage
the remarkably
show examples
 increased use of personal vehicles decline
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 necessity of public
transportation
Use synonyms
. Considering
this
Linking Words
 idea, we can deduce why some
countries
Use synonyms
 are reluctant to improve their
transportation
Use synonyms
 systems. Another pivotal aspect of my viewpoint is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 is not solely limited to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 system.
Status
Correct article usage
The status
show examples
 of roads, access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them, and the way they are built are
also
Linking Words
 some significant sides of
transportation
Use synonyms
, which must be valued. We witness
skyrocketing
Correct article usage
the skyrocketing
show examples
 drive of cars and other vehicles,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, the importance of public
transportation
Use synonyms
 cannot be ignored.
Likewise
Linking Words
, many people prefer to commute using public
transportation
Use synonyms
 as they are not forced to get stuck in traffic in daylight hours and harsh
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. As proof, a lot of companies are located
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
downtown and employees prefer to catch public
transportation
Use synonyms
getting
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
 to their office which
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
 them relief
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 long hours commuting. In conclusion,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 some believe that a nation is not responsible for investing in
transportation
Use synonyms
, after considering the aforementioned points, I suppose that everyone in a society must access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
up-to-dated
Correct your spelling
up-to-date
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
, which can be provided through monthly or yearly
boost
Fix the agreement mistake
boosts
show examples
. It must be noted that
this
Linking Words
 elevation is only possible through devoting
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
 annuity.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well-organized, with each sentence flowing logically from the one before. Use linking words effectively to signal the relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Provide an introduction that clearly presents the topic and your thesis. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points made in the essay and restate your opinion. The current essay lacks a clear thesis and the conclusion does not sufficiently summarize the main points or restate a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Each main point should be developed with specific, detailed support. Generic statements should be accompanied by concrete examples, data, or relevant scenarios that clearly demonstrate the validity of your point. This essay provided some examples but they were not fully developed or entirely convincing.
task achievement
The essay needs to completely respond to the task by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. It should represent a balanced discussion that provides a comprehensive coverage of the topic, followed by the writer's own stance. This essay attempts to discuss both sides and express an opinion, but this could have been done in a more complete and balanced manner.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay should be clear, comprehensive, and relevant to the topic. It's important to fully explain and elaborate on the ideas to ensure they are expressed comprehensively. This essay includes ideas that are relevant, yet they require further elaboration and explanation for full clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples strengthens the argument and demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic. Ensure that the examples used are directly relevant to the point being made and that they are explained in enough detail to support the argument effectively. The essay has examples but they are vague and not sufficiently specific or elaborated.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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