Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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In today's

Change preposition

Today's

show examples

education

Use synonyms

system has changed a lot when comes to learning culture. Nowadays,

students

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are keener to learn additional

subjects

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along with

Linking Words

their major studies. There are other groups of

students

Use synonyms

who only concentrate on how to clear their exams and get degrees. In

this

Linking Words

essay, we will discuss both the points and

also

Linking Words

I will provide my view on

this

Linking Words

education

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system.

Firstly

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, in

this

Linking Words

emerging world the

education

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system rapidly changing, to embrace and to learn new skills it is necessary thing to learn additional

subjects

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. I will help to grab new opportunities after their graduation, and it will

also

Linking Words

give them confidence to compete with the highly skilled jobs. In my experience, most of my school

students

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learnt engineering courses but they land up in other domain jobs, the reason behind

Correct pronoun usage

this is

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that they have learnt additional online certification courses in the online platform which helps them to get the jobs.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is good to learn other

subjects

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which add value added for your career growth.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, they are

students

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who will come to college just to study and grab the degree course. It will

also

Linking Words

give the experience of college life and will give the opportunity to socialise with the

students

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and among society. These kinds of

students

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are more keen to get the qualification of the course but they do not worry about learning different

subjects

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. They might have a family business to care of and

they

Correct your spelling

the

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other streams of work they would have to concentrate

Change preposition

on, hence

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hence

Linking Words

they will

Add a missing verb

do more

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for the degree. In my view, I will support both the view, learning new

subjects

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and completing the degree courses. University

education

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is a must to complete,

this

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gives maturity among

students

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in society and the literacy rate will rise in the country.

To conclude

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, If the

students

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are willing to explore multiple career growth it is a must to learn new skills and adapt to the changes in

education

Use synonyms

Submitted by appadurai5494 on Sun Dec 03 2023

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introduction

Your essay begins with a general statement and briefly introduces both sides of the argument, which is a good start. However, the introduction could be improved by stating the thesis more clearly, outlining your specific opinion on the topic.

structure

The essay should have a logical sequence with clear and distinct paragraphs for each point discussed, including well-defined introductions and conclusions. Transitions between paragraphs can be improved for better flow and cohesion.

development

Main points need to be developed further with clear topic sentences. Some ideas are repeated rather than expanded upon. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the argumentative structure of your essay.

task response

Despite covering the task prompt, the response can be improved by elaborating on the points made and providing relevant, detailed examples to back up those points. This will enhance the completeness and depth of your response.

language

Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present, which affect the clarity of your arguments. Proofread your essay to correct these mistakes and aim to use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate language flexibility and accuracy.

examples

Providing specific examples relevant to the argument can greatly enhance your essay. Draw on personal, historical, or widely acknowledged examples to support your points in a more convincing way.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Fully explain your ideas

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this?

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Walking is known to be beneficial for health but these days the number of people walking has reduced a lot. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this situation?

Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?