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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days, more people leave their best friends and dear families for
work
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 purposes. In my point of view, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it offers
opportunities
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 and they gain more experience from it.
To begin
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, moving away offers many
opportunities
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 for an individual.
For example
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, many metropolis cities have bigger job offers with bigger salaries, which can be beneficial for the employee.
Furthermore
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, living alone makes the person focus more on his
work
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 rather than having distractions.
However
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, there are disadvantages to moving away
such
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 as loneliness, and different cultures.
Also
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 many can get depressed from the big changes that have happened in their life, which
then
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 affects their mental health. Alongside
opportunities
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, going away for
work
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 duties is
also
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 beneficial for gaining experience. Taking risks and getting out of someone's comfort zone makes the person gain exposure to new things.
For instance
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, someone who has done training in various companies is more qualified for jobs because he was exposed to different
work
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 cultures,
thus
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 making him more experienced than others. New skills can
also
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 be developed, by working in different places and learning from the different pears, which enhances your own skills. In conclusion, I firmly believe that moving away
for
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from
show examples
work
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 has greater advantages than disadvantages in terms of better
opportunities
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 and more exposure. Both can not only enhances the employee's CV but
also
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 his communication skills with his colleagues. Others may prioritize maintaining close relationships and stability over career progression, so in the end, it is about prioritizing your priorities,

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are well-supported with detailed examples and explanations. For instance, the point about bigger job offers could benefit from actual examples or statistics.
task achievement
Clarify ideas to make them more comprehensive. For example, the sentence 'New skills can also be developed, by working in different places and learning from the different pears, which enhances your own skills' could be expanded for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence variety and complexity to enhance readability and flow. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences for a more engaging read.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the viewpoint and sets up the essay well.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author's viewpoint, providing a coherent end to the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career advancement
  • job opportunities
  • job market
  • salaries
  • personal growth
  • cultural horizons
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • global perspective
  • emotional and psychological impact
  • loved ones
  • loneliness
  • homesickness
  • support network
  • long-distance relationships
  • emotional strain
  • face-to-face interactions
  • financial cost
  • housing deposits
  • travel costs
  • living expenses
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