Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we are care about them .Others think that there are better ways to show affection to them discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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These days
people
Use synonyms
live in Morden lifestyle. they always think about whether they should attention to them to present something to their friends and family to show their
love
Use synonyms
for them. Another one thinks that there are much better ways to show bonds.in
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss both views and discuss my opinion.
Firstly
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, Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
are always trying to live in modern society. they share a bond by giving to
gifts
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each other. It depends on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their financial situation.
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
of them
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
expensive
gifts
Use synonyms
and some give small
gifts
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.
For instance
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,
secondly
Linking Words
,
high class
Add a hyphen
high-class
show examples
families buy for
gifts
Use synonyms
very expensive like a house,
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
and to visit
oversees
Correct your spelling
overseas
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air ticket.
Finally
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
people
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
to
gifts
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family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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or friends very small
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
like flowers, dinner out, and books.they
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not have much money for expensive
gifts
Use synonyms
for sharing
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
love
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, someone
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
about them sharing
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
love
Use synonyms
only bonding. They try to always care about each other.
For instance
Linking Words
,
firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Love
Use synonyms
to care
Change preposition
for they
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
parents.they stay with their parents same house and feed them they are given medicine ,good conversation and happiness. they should
love
Use synonyms
to
sharing
Change the verb
share
show examples
their feeling with
love
Use synonyms
each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
are very different
each
Change preposition
from each
show examples
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
because some of them have to share
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
love
Use synonyms
for financial like
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a gift
gifts
show examples
gifts
Use synonyms
.
other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
can share their
love
Use synonyms
as a bonding like sharing feelings. in my opinion, given the
gifts
Use synonyms
these days,
people
Use synonyms
are very popular and happy they never forget family or friends give
gifts
Use synonyms
. I think that much better to give a gift keeping
love
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by manushamanu1024 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and precision in your argument structure; your essay currently presents ideas in a confusing order, contributing to a lack of logical progression. Introduction and conclusion are identifiable but lack clarity and focus. Main points need clearer support and development.
task achievement
Your essay must address all parts of the task; present clear opinions and extend the discussion to include all aspects of the prompt. Ensure you provide a balanced view before concluding with your opinion, give your essay a clear position throughout.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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