IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You have a problem with a neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter -describe the problem -say how long it has been a problem -explain what action you want the neighbour to take

#neighbour #-describe #-say #-explain #action
Dear Fely, I am writing to inform
to let
Verb problem
apply
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you know your son's mischief. I want to tell
that
Correct pronoun usage
you that
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 your son always plays music too loud and, he
drunk
Replace the word
drinks
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 every
week end
Correct your spelling
weekend
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 with his friends, so
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 is why my family can not sleep well every weekend.
Although
 l already
tell
Wrong verb form
told
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 him,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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he does not hear me, and he still
do
Change the verb form
does
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same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 things. I forget when your child
begin
Change the verb form
begins
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 to do it, but l guess that he has done it since you don't live together. I
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that around 3 months.  I am late to tell you because l
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 he could change his behaviour, but
unfortunely
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
 he can not. I hope you can tell him ,and he can change his attitude. Yours faithfully, Andrianto Raharja
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure of the letter is clear and consistent to improve coherence. Use sequencing words appropriately and maintain a logical progression of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a more specific greeting and closing to strongly relate to the reader, which helps to establish a better connection and also respect formal letter writing conventions.
Coherence & Cohesion
Adhere to the format of presenting one clear idea per paragraph, and develop it fully before moving to the next paragraph to ensure each point is well explained and understood.
Task Achievement
Address every aspect of the task more fully. The response should clearly describe the problem, provide specific details about the duration, and outline exactly what actions you are expecting from the neighbour with possible solutions.
Task Achievement
The writing tone should be consistently formal, polite, and respectful throughout the letter, which is suitable for the context and recipient of a formal letter. Refrain from using contractions and maintain formality in language choice.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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