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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The pie chart below show ubits of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1989 and 2000

The pie chart below show ubits of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1989 and 2000
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The given piechart illustrates the units of
electricity
Use synonyms
 generated by the
fuel
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 sources over two decades in Australia and France.
The
Correct article usage
Electricity
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electricity
Use synonyms
is now become
Change to the active voice
now becomes
has now become
show examples
 an daily basic need in our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.The generation is done by many sources of
fuel
Use synonyms
. The modern development in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nuclear science has made
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 huge impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
production
Use synonyms
 of
power
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. The
production
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 in Australia is mainly produced by using coal as their main
source
Use synonyms
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
.In 1980 the
production
Use synonyms
 was made by using hydro
power
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 and natural gas as their secondary
source
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. The oil was the least consumed
fuel
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 when compared to others.But in recent days
the
Correct article usage
apply
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coal has
became
Change the form of the verb
become
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 the main
source
Use synonyms
 rather than using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other sources as their
fuel
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to the extinction of coal if consumed
in
Change preposition
at
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this
Linking Words
 rate.The
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
Use synonyms
 can be improved and can be made more
production
Use synonyms
 from
this
Linking Words
source
Use synonyms
.The
production
Use synonyms
 of energy by the
source
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 oil has
complety
Correct your spelling
completely
 vanished.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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France is one of the leading
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in the world.They use all the fuels in similar amounts which makes them significant and intelligent producer of
electricity
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/In 1980 they used
the
Correct article usage
apply
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coal and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural gas for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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half of
Use synonyms
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 of
electricity
Use synonyms
. These caused
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 huge amount of pollution.But in recent times
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological advancement in the nuclear field has made them
to
Change the verb form
apply
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adapt to nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 as their main
source
Use synonyms
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
 for the development of generation of
electricity
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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France and Australia
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 made more changes in their
production
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
.But they must adapt to renewable
fuel
Use synonyms
 as their main
source
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of using
other energy
Change the wording
another energy source
other energy sources
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source
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has helped many countries to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution and preserve fuels for future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
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.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, fuel, production, power, source with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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