It seems that in majority of countries there are not enough students that are keen to learn science-related subjects. Factors that caused this issue and consequences of it on society will be discussed in this essay.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It seems that in
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
there are not enough students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are keen to learn science-related subjects. Factors that caused
this
Linking Words
issue and consequences of it on society will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are several factors that cause
this
Linking Words
issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people do not understand how are they going to apply the scientific concepts that they study in their adult life, which is vastly demotivating.
This
Linking Words
complaint often sounds like
this
Linking Words
"How am I going to use the fact, that a mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell to pay my taxes?".
Secondly
Linking Words
, some schools offer scientific content,
that is
Linking Words
too hard for young people to grasp.
This
Linking Words
leads to a situation, in which a student receives bad grades across several
consequtive
Correct your spelling
consecutive
tests and,
thus
Linking Words
,
losing
Wrong verb form
loses
show examples
the passion to learn science. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
problem can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to some bad consequences for societies. First of all, physics, biology and chemistry cover a lot of working fields - from a chemical engineer in a bug spray factory to a scientist
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
is working
Change preposition
on the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cure for a particular virus or an infection.
Absence
Correct article usage
The absence
show examples
of interest in those subjects in a general population may lead to a lack of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
can work in those jobs.
This
Linking Words
may lead to various consequences:
for example
Linking Words
, the lack of rocket scientists may lead to a
slow down
Correct your spelling
slowdown
show examples
in the progress
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the space
programm
Correct your spelling
programme
program
. Sadly, more and more teenagers are losing interest towards physics, chemistry and biology which may
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
an
unpredicticably
Correct your spelling
unpredictably
unpredictable
bad impact on our civilisation as a whole.
Submitted by alexander.vectorgs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured adequately with an introduction, main paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the logical progression of ideas could be improved. Try to ensure your paragraphs flow smoothly from one to another with clear connections and transitions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are identifiable, but they can be enhanced. Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. For the conclusion, summarize your main points effectively without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but the essay would benefit from more elaboration and detailed explanation. Incorporate a better variety of complex structures and fully develop your arguments to strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Address the task with a complete response, ensuring to cover all aspects of the prompt. While you did touch on the factors and consequences, there could be a more detailed and analytical response to directly answer the question.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a series of sentences that explain and support that idea with detail and examples.
task achievement
Your essay needs more relevant and specific examples. Concrete examples add weight to your arguments and support your points. Make sure that the examples are directly linked to the subject matter and illustrate the impact of the issue being discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: