Playing computer games is bad for children whereas others say that it has positive effects. Discuss both sides

#computer #games #children #effects

this

digital age, computers play an important role in terms of fulfilling human needs even entertainment

such

games

While

some people believe that playing computer

games

has a detrimental effect on

children

, I am with those who argue that computer

games

provide positive effects on young people. First and foremost, computer

games

make the cognitive ability of

children

increase.

This

is because there is a plethora of

games

that help

children

in shaping their brains.

For instance

puzzle and chess

games

Second,

it gives pleasure in their spare time as a gift for them to complete their homework

for instance

Children

who are given a reward

such

as playing

games

after finishing their homework seem more confident and energic when they back to school.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon Dec 04 2023

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task achievement

Your introduction briefly covers the task, but it lacks a clear thesis statement presenting a position of the argument. Consider including a more precise thesis statement that outlines your viewpoint and the structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, while the ideas follow a logical order, the essay could benefit from a better range of linking words and clearer paragraphing. The structure of the essay should flow from one idea to the next more seamlessly. The absence of a conclusion leaves the argument unresolved, which should be addressed.

task achievement

Expand on the presented arguments by including more detailed examples and explanations. Explore both sides of the argument in more depth, providing specific instances or studies where computer games have had both positive and negative effects.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

126 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Playing computer games is bad for children whereas others say that it has positive effects. Discuss both sides

Include an introduction and conclusion

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

You play a team sport with some friends. Last week a member of the team had an accident and wasn't able to play with you Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • Tell him which team won • Describe the weather conditions that day • Say how you felt about the match

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?