Students in school should learn academic subjects and pass exams. Other skill such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork can be learnt well from family and friends. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing concern for many people around the world is
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
a curriculum
show examples
of the education of the school.
While
it can be argued that
stdents
Correct your spelling
students
should only learn academic subjects to pass
examination
Add an article
the examination
an examination
show examples
, another opinion is that domestic sciences
such
as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork can be learnt from family. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my
overall
opinion.
Submitted by RANA on

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task response
The introduction provided does not establish a clear position in response to the prompt, so it's essential to include a clear thesis statement that reflects your position on the subject.
task response
The essay fails to fully develop an argument, present clear main points, or include supporting examples. Ensure you provide a well-rounded perspective on the topic, including your opinion, while substantiating your argument with specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
You need to organize ideas more logically and cohesively. Establish clear paragraphs with topic sentences that reflect the main idea of each paragraph. Use a range of linking words to help ideas flow naturally from one to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The essay should have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should support or contrast your main argument, following a logical sequence that leads to a natural conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic subjects
  • Examinations
  • Vocational skills
  • Cognitive development
  • Hands-on experience
  • Family heritage
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Competency
  • Pedagogy
  • Holistic education
  • Life skills
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Craftsmanship
  • Adaptability
What to do next:
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