Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree

#people #copy #behaviour #celebrities #food #drink #habits

Currently,a lot of youngsters are greatly influenced by public figures, and

as a result

Add a comma

show examples

they have to embrace positive actions

instead

of negatives.

This

essay will delve into the details of the given topic

in addition

to my opinion that will be elaborated.

To begin

with, back in 1960, in the U.S.A.,a smoking advertisement campaign was launched by celebrities;

consequently

, the Marlboro company achieved huge profits.

However

,despite

this

, America whose the highest percentage of youngsters with lung cancer around the globe.So as to the given justifications,the well-known people should practice positive actions. The other pattern can be seen in Japan, in order to overcome obesity which extents caused by unhealthy meals.

Hence

,what the celebrities did was advocate their platforms in a procedure to sustain a healthy lifestyle.

Therefore

, the proportion of youths who suffer from obesity is a handful.Not only

this

,but the public health progress is on an upward trend.

According to

the aforementioned reasons, it seems to me that the role of the well-known people in society is playing tangible impacts on the young people's lifestyle. In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of

this

subject, it is predicted that the negative advertisements which are done by public figures have to be hindered, on account of the given articulations.

Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on Tue Dec 05 2023

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Support main points with detailed explanations or data for stronger effect.

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Linking Words

Use a range of linking words to help with the flow of the essay and to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs.

Specific Examples

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorsement
influence
lifestyle
consciousness
social responsibility
regulation
liberty
supply and demand
unintended consequences
critical thinking
brand image
nutrition
public figure
health advocacy
restrictions
moderation
consumer behavior
market forces
ethical advertising
personal brand

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Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

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