Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?
Young
people
have a tendency to copy Use synonyms
of
famous Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
attitude
, Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
therefore
Linking Words
celebrities
should be Use synonyms
a
good role Correct article usage
apply
model
by advertising just Fix the agreement mistake
models
healty
food or Correct your spelling
healthy
drink
and should avoid unhealthy Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
habits
like smoking. I completely disagree with Use synonyms
this
idea, there are some Linking Words
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
for
that Change preposition
apply
celebrities
Use synonyms
has
own Wrong verb form
have their
Use synonyms
life
and young Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
have to be Use synonyms
more strong
Correct word choice
stronger
character
.
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
To begin
with, famous Linking Words
people
have Use synonyms
seperated
Correct your spelling
separate
life
that does not include Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Correct article usage
the life
are
shown to Unnecessary verb
apply
people
. If Use synonyms
celebrities
have some restriction Use synonyms
about
their Change preposition
on
life
, it Use synonyms
make
Change the verb form
makes
diffucult
their Correct your spelling
difficult
life
both social Use synonyms
aspects
and economic Use synonyms
aspects
. These Use synonyms
people
only do their job Use synonyms
likewise
other Linking Words
people
. They could not be responsible Use synonyms
all
young Change preposition
for all
people
or they should not promote Use synonyms
to live
better. When they Change the verb form
living
constrain
to accept only benefit and useful advertisement their economic status influences Wrong verb form
are constrained
from
that. Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, they start to Linking Words
acording
to being role Correct your spelling
according
model
, their social Fix the agreement mistake
models
life
Use synonyms
is shape
by Change the verb form
is shaped
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
does
not know personally.
Wrong verb form
they do
Moreover
, young Linking Words
people
should not Use synonyms
affect
as Verb problem
be
much
as easily Correct quantifier usage
apply
from
Change preposition
by
the
famous Correct article usage
apply
people
. Nowadays, they have different and several Use synonyms
type
of Change to a plural noun
types
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
Linking Words
due
to improve themselves. They can choose some Correct word choice
apply
habits
for Use synonyms
utilize
their future Wrong verb form
utilising
life
and Use synonyms
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
level
of quality of their Correct article usage
a level
life
. Young Use synonyms
people
can be aware of how they dominate their own Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Therefore
, when they follow Linking Words
celebrities
or Use synonyms
be
Verb problem
become
Fix the agreement mistake
fans
fan
, they may decide whether or not Fix the agreement mistake
fans
Fix the infinitive
to copy
copy
the behaviour of famous Fix the infinitive
to copy
people
. Take a Use synonyms
teenaage
, who would like to be Correct your spelling
teenage
teenager
pianist
, Correct article usage
a pianist
for example
; she or he can Linking Words
benefits
from Wrong verb form
benefit
famous
Correct article usage
a famous
pianist
Change noun form
pianist's
life
only good Use synonyms
aspects
and can ignore Use synonyms
him
or her bad Correct pronoun usage
his
habits
.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, there are some acceptable Linking Words
reason
to Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
be disagree
. Change the verb form
disagree
Celebrities
should not be responsible Use synonyms
attidude
and Correct your spelling
attitudes
habits
of young Use synonyms
people
. Young Use synonyms
people
can take good Use synonyms
aspects
of famous Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
Use synonyms
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a discernible structure, but it lacks logical sequencing of ideas, which makes it difficult to follow. Aim to create more distinct paragraphs that each deal with a separate point, using clear topic sentences and support for the arguments you present. This will improve the logical flow and make your ideas more compelling.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, providing arguments against the statement in the prompt. However, you need to develop your ideas further and provide more precise and relevant examples for a higher score. The response should fully address all parts of the task, which includes a clear opinion and specific reasons for that opinion. Using examples that clearly support your point of view will help to achieve this. Additionally, work on the precision of your expressions and avoid over-generalizations.