Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?
Young
people
have a tendency to copy of
famous Change preposition
apply
people
Change noun form
people's
attitude
, Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
therefore
celebrities
should be a
good role Correct article usage
apply
model
by advertising just Fix the agreement mistake
models
healty
food or Correct your spelling
healthy
drink
and should avoid unhealthy Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
habits
like smoking. I completely disagree with this
idea, there are some reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
for
that Change preposition
apply
celebrities
has
own Wrong verb form
have their
life
and young Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
have to be more strong
Correct word choice
stronger
character
.
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
To begin
with, famous people
have seperated
Correct your spelling
separate
life
that does not include life
Correct article usage
the life
are
shown to Unnecessary verb
apply
people
. If celebrities
have some restriction about
their Change preposition
on
life
, it make
Change the verb form
makes
diffucult
their Correct your spelling
difficult
life
both social aspects
and economic aspects
. These people
only do their job likewise
other people
. They could not be responsible all
young Change preposition
for all
people
or they should not promote to live
better. When they Change the verb form
living
constrain
to accept only benefit and useful advertisement their economic status influences Wrong verb form
are constrained
from
that. Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, they start to acording
to being role Correct your spelling
according
model
, their social Fix the agreement mistake
models
life
is shape
by Change the verb form
is shaped
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
does
not know personally.
Wrong verb form
they do
Moreover
, young people
should not affect
as Verb problem
be
much
as easily Correct quantifier usage
apply
from
Change preposition
by
the
famous Correct article usage
apply
people
. Nowadays, they have different and several type
of Change to a plural noun
types
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
due
to improve themselves. They can choose some Correct word choice
apply
habits
for utilize
their future Wrong verb form
utilising
life
and developing
Wrong verb form
develop
level
of quality of their Correct article usage
a level
life
. Young people
can be aware of how they dominate their own life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Therefore
, when they follow celebrities
or be
Verb problem
become
Fix the agreement mistake
fans
fan
, they may decide whether or not Fix the agreement mistake
fans
Fix the infinitive
to copy
copy
the behaviour of famous Fix the infinitive
to copy
people
. Take a teenaage
, who would like to be Correct your spelling
teenage
teenager
pianist
, Correct article usage
a pianist
for example
; she or he can benefits
from Wrong verb form
benefit
famous
Correct article usage
a famous
pianist
Change noun form
pianist's
life
only good aspects
and can ignore him
or her bad Correct pronoun usage
his
habits
.
To conclude
, there are some acceptable reason
to Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
be disagree
. Change the verb form
disagree
Celebrities
should not be responsible attidude
and Correct your spelling
attitudes
habits
of young people
. Young people
can take good aspects
of famous people
Change noun form
people's
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a discernible structure, but it lacks logical sequencing of ideas, which makes it difficult to follow. Aim to create more distinct paragraphs that each deal with a separate point, using clear topic sentences and support for the arguments you present. This will improve the logical flow and make your ideas more compelling.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, providing arguments against the statement in the prompt. However, you need to develop your ideas further and provide more precise and relevant examples for a higher score. The response should fully address all parts of the task, which includes a clear opinion and specific reasons for that opinion. Using examples that clearly support your point of view will help to achieve this. Additionally, work on the precision of your expressions and avoid over-generalizations.