The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK. ...
The given bar chart illustrates the amount of time that boy and girl juveniles between 10 to 15 years old spend
on
chatting on the internet and playing video Change preposition
apply
games
in an ordinary school day in the UK.
It is clearly evident that boys have a severe tendeny
to play video Correct your spelling
tendency
games
with approximately 84 percent
, and they play mostly from one to three hours. Change the spelling
per cent
Further
, girls are playing
Wrong verb form
play
games
console 30 proportion fewer than boys which is
50 Change the verb form
are
percent
, and Change the spelling
per cent
their
majority devote less than an hour Change the word
the
for
Change preposition
to
this
. All in all, both
genders gaming is 68 Change preposition
for both
ration
, and Correct your spelling
ratio
minority
of individuals play more than four hours.
On the flip side, ladies are by far texting on social media more than Add an article
a minority
the minority
gentelmen
which is 68 proportion. Correct your spelling
gentlemen
Additionally
, more than half of them spend three hours on
talking. Change preposition
apply
On the contrary
, guys have less tendency to virtual world which means they just text about 52 percent
, and often under an hour. Change the spelling
per cent
Overall
, both sexes spending
their time Wrong verb form
spend
on
chat rooms Change preposition
in
approximetely
60 Correct your spelling
approximately
percent
.
In sum, pupils would prefer to play video Change the spelling
per cent
games
more than talk on the internet. Besides
that, boys oftenly
play virtual Correct your spelling
often
games
unlike
girls who would rather surf on the media.Add the comma(s)
, unlike
Submitted by tg.persian on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words games, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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