The chart below shows the average money spent per customer on various types of equipment in a Canadian sports store.

#money #customer #equipment #canadian #sports #store

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The given line chart indicates how much money

spent

Add a missing verb

was spent

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on disparate types of sports store

eqipments

Correct your spelling

equipment

in Canada from 2000 to 2020. It is clearly

ecident

Correct your spelling

evident

that football tools were by far more popular among costumers that bought them 60 dollars in 2000, but

this

Linking Words

amount experienced a slight decrease to 40, and again has an

increased

Replace the word

increase

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until it reached the peak at 70 bucks in 2020.

Further

Linking Words

, the same pattern is true for swimming

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

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which has

Correct article usage

apply

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considerable growth in

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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20 years from approximately 10 dollars to 25.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, rugby has an opposite trend. It

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started from 40 and reached 60 in 2010, meanwhile dramatically fell

Change preposition

to 30

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in 2020.

Additionally

Linking Words

, tennis materials started from 30 and dropped to 10 bucks in 2020.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is crystal clear that football was the most

favorable

Change the spelling

favourable

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sport in Canada.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, tennis is the least one.

Although

Linking Words

, rugby for a short period of time was the most popular one.

Submitted by tg.persian on Tue Dec 05 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

expenditure
revenue
consumer behavior
retail trends
sports equipment
outdoor/indoor/water/fitness equipment
comparative analysis
spending patterns
average purchase
market segment
financial quarter
seasonal variation
customer demographics
sales figures
percentile distribution
fluctuations

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The chart below shows the average money spent per customer on various types of equipment in a Canadian sports store.

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Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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