IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given charts illustrate the
amount
 of
Australian
 individuals were born
while
 who
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 born in
except
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australia
 living in three different types of
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 (urban, rural and town) between 1995 and 2010.
Overall
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the people who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside in city had
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
amount
 in
both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
.
Additionally
, the
Australian
Correct quantifier usage
number of Australian
show examples
 individual who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in their own country' numbers were highest in
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 in
both
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 (1995 and 2010).
Firstly
, in 1995, the
amount
 of borning in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 had almost 50, and
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 number increased
repeatly
Correct your spelling
repeatedly
 in 2010. The number of borning in
Australian
 town and outside
Australia
 towns
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 20 and around 10 respectively in 1995. The
amount
 of borning in towns decreased until
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2010.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
Australian
 citizens who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in their rural areas had nearly 30 in 1995, and
this
 value sharply diminished in 2010. The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 value in the given bar chart is the people who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside
Australia
 was
approximatelly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 5 in 2010. In conclusion,
Australian
 citizens
borning
Verb problem
living
show examples
 in cities in
both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 and
both
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 (
Australia
 and outside
Australia
) had boosted
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
during given times.
Submitted by dytayseozgul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, australian, australia, both with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: