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Band 3

In many countries, plastic containers have become more popular than ever. They are used in many businesses such as food and drink industry. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages

#countries #plastic #containers #businesses #food #drink #industry #outweigh
Using
plastic
containers
 as
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 packaging now becoming popular in some countries,
many
Correct word choice
and many
show examples
 enterprises
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 and
baverage
Correct your spelling
beverage
 industries. I believe the drawbacks of using
plactic
Correct your spelling
plastic
container
Fix the agreement mistake
containers
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweigh the benefits. On the one hand,
plastic
containers
 truly
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 cost cheaper than
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of packaging. Many enterprises, from small to large scale,
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
plastic
 covers to cut their production cost. To illustrate, the price of
plastic
containers
 in Indonesia is just 100 rupiah per unit.
This
 price is cheaper compared to
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of packaging
such
 as bamboo
containers
 which
ost
Correct your spelling
cost
show examples
 1000 per package.
Consequently
, more people in the industry using
this
 product
due to
 economical
wise
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
, using
plastic
containers
 could
left
Change the verb form
leave
be left
show examples
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 damage. If people buy products with
plastic
containers
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are more likely to throw away the
plastics
 afterward. The awareness of
Correct article usage
the reclycling
show examples
reclycling
Correct your spelling
recycling
 process
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 still low in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, the problem of
plastics
Change the noun form
plastic
show examples
 waste
are occurs
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
 in many places and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can cause
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 pollution.
For instance
, in
Indonesia
Add a comma
Indonesia,
show examples
 many places
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 with
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
 in rainy seasons and the main problem is
plastics
Change the noun form
plastic
show examples
 waste stuck in the river. In conclusion, even though using
plastic
containers
 can
benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 enterprises with the low price
material
Change preposition
of material
show examples
 production, I believe everyone should
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 aware
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the potential
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 damage of
plastics
Change the noun form
plastic
show examples
 waste.
Submitted by ryanrush16 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more structured approach. Ensure that your argument is organized logically with clear paragraphing, and that each main point is explored in separate paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
In terms of task response, your essay addresses the prompt but could include more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. Also, your position is clear but should be consistently maintained throughout the essay. Include a more equal treatment of both views for a fully developed response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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