Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity , improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

Nowadays, engaging in volunteering activities has brought an immense impact towards society as it is vital

especially

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, especially

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in the academic field. Many have suggested it is a productive way to aid students in developing and determining their field of

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

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This

essay will argue why including

community

services

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the school curriculum is beneficial for adolescents and society, and why others think it is not. Some people are inclined to believe that volunteering is unnecessary and insignificant for learning. Education is not solely limited to the theoretical foundations that are typically learnt from educational institutions, but practical experiences are

also

learnt

out

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apply

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through serving

community

hospitals or teaching for

physically-challenged

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challenged

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in public libraries. In

this

way, they are able to acquire knowledge and professional experiences that schools do not usually offer, which maximizes their involvement to learn new skills and expand their career opportunities. Many organizations offer volunteer opportunities including courses and training which may improve the presentation of their job applications. Employers often value not only academic qualifications

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apply

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but

also

acquired experiences

such

as communication and management skills.

Overall

, it would be advantageous for students to allocate

community

services since exposure to affairs outside school may potentially set applicants apart and stand out amongst other job aspirants. In conclusion, I completely agree that adding unpaid

community

services to the secondary curriculum should be mandated since it provides supplementary skills and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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is essential for future job applications.

Submitted by polash.kahari on Tue Dec 05 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

It is crucial to maintain a strong and clear logical structure throughout your essay. Aim to organize your paragraphs so that each one presents a single main idea, supported by relevant examples and details. This will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and state your position clearly. The conclusion should summarize your key points and restate your position, rounding off the essay effectively.

Task Achievement

Support each main point with clear and specific examples or reasons. While the essay mentions volunteer programs and the acquisition of diverse skills, it would benefit from concrete examples to illustrate how these experiences directly benefit students and their communities. Additionally, consider presenting a balanced view by acknowledging counterarguments and refuting them where appropriate.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
high school programmes
unpaid community service
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching sports
sense of responsibility
empathy
broader perspective
societal issues
college applications
job applications
positive impact

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.