IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who attended four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who attended four different attractions in Brighton.
#line #proportion #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton
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The line graph shows the percentages of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 to
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom who visited four various
of
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apply
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landmarks in Brighton from 1980 to 2010
Overall
Linking Words
, people visited the pavilion, which
are
Change the verb form
is
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 in high demand
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of people who went to the festival and art gallery
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 average and the pier
having
Wrong verb form
had
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 the least number of
visitors
Use synonyms
.
In
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At
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 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
1980
Add a comma
1980,
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 almost 20%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of people went to the pavilion and art gallery. The highest demand in the art gallery was in 1985 with
approxmitely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 38% of
visitors
Use synonyms
 and in the pavilion was almost 50% in 1995. Unfortunately, in the next
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 percentages of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
attractions
Correct article usage
the attractions
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased to 30% and less than 10%. In
comprasion
Correct your spelling
comparison
compassion
,
pier
Correct article usage
the pier
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 with 10%
tourists
Change preposition
of tourists
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 there in 1980 started to be popular and
propoportions
Correct your spelling
proportions
proportion
 increased to 20% in 2010.
Festival
Correct article usage
The Festival
show examples
 had 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 in the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 and didn't have big changes in other years and stayed stable all the time.
Submitted by alima.arapova05 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • tourists
  • attractions
  • trends
  • popularity
  • seasonal variations
  • attendance figures
  • locality
  • predicting
  • data analysis
  • fluctuations
  • peak season
  • decline
  • increment
  • steady
  • plummet
  • surge
  • stagnate
  • benchmark
  • correlate
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