Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Few college students have an interest in studying other subjects outside their main study.
On the contrary
, some of them choose to focus on their main study.
This
essay will discuss both these views, and I will draw my personal opinion about my agreement with studying different subjects for them and its benefits. In our era, we must know everything to increase our capability to lead global prospects. The college should give their graduate a chance to learn new knowledge in a different theme.
For instance
, engineering
scholar
Fix the agreement mistake
scholars
show examples
should know about communication skills to inform their ideas to others, and business
scholar
Fix the agreement mistake
scholars
show examples
must learn about the newest technology to raise their business someday. There are so many chances to get more information; Einstein found the relativity theory by the apple that fell to him, so we should learn from anything to increase our knowledge and skills. On the other side, some of them prefer to focus on their main study. They want to be expert in their chosen subject. It has a positive view,
such
as more leisure time and will know deeply their
curicculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
.
Although
it has a negative impact, the student only has skills in their subject. It will be more useful for some professionals like doctors, nurses, and other specialists. In conclusion, from my point of view, I believe the option for college student should learn different subjects outside their main subject is the best option. Nowadays, companies need a person who is capable of doing anything for business sustainability, and the knowledge will be useful for them someday.
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coherence cohesion
You have organized the essay into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, the logical structure of the argument can be improved by providing clearer transitions and linking words between ideas and paragraphs. Try to guide the reader more smoothly through your points.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant, but some of them could be fleshed out more with specific examples and a deeper analysis. Providing empirical evidence or concrete examples will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing. Think about including real-life scenarios, statistics, or expert opinions to support your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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