In many countries, people like to eat more food from other regions than can be grown in a local area. As a result, much of the food has to come from other regions. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, people prefer
food
from other regions, even though these products can be found in local
place, Add an article
a local
the local
thus
, majority of these products are tranportated
from other cities which takes time and money.I thinkCorrect your spelling
transported
,
the advantages Remove the comma
apply
such
as the quality and the taste
the food
gives outweigh the price of the product.
Due to
weather conditions, products are
grown in every area Unnecessary verb
apply
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
difference
in the Correct article usage
a difference
taste
. Some vegetables and fruits give the best taste
when they grow in tropical area
, Fix the agreement mistake
areas
whereas
, others prefer rainfall places. For example
, 90% of residents of Kazakhstan choose apples from Almaty, because of its
Correct pronoun usage
their
taste
and juiciness.
Besides
, residents might not like the quality of food
in their city. It is known to everyone that rices
from Asian countries Change the wording
rice
kinds of rice
packets of rice
grains of rice
are
more fortified Correct subject-verb agreement
is
compaaring
to other states.Correct your spelling
compared
Consequently
, people from other parts of the world always wanna consume these rices
.
Fix the agreement mistake
this rice
However
, to supply food
from A station to B, it requires a lots
of money,Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
thus
it can be expensive in delivered
country.Shipping might be different, where the country Add an article
the delivered
ot
city is located.Correct your spelling
or
For instance
,
In conclusion, although
, transportation require
Change the verb form
requires
considerable
amount of money, the Add an article
a considerable
taste
and the quality make it worth to try
Change the verb form
trying
food
from other regions.Submitted by forcookiearu on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should paraphrase the question, present your thesis statement, and outline the main points of your essay. The body should develop each main point in a separate paragraph with supporting examples and explanations, followed by a conclusion summarizing your points and restating your thesis. Your essay lacked a full conclusion, and the structure could be more logically organized.
Task Achievement
Your essay needs to fully respond to all parts of the task. Clearly state the advantages and disadvantages and whether one outweighs the other, with a balanced discussion and a clear conclusion. You've presented one side more than the other, and the task would be better fulfilled with a more balanced discussion and clearer examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!