IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.

#research #time #office #energy #electricity #gas #companies #week #advantage #development #outhweight
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Lately, experts point out that the use of
energy
 in companies can be reduced by spending less time in the offices.
Energy
 efficiency and cost reduction are the main advantages,
whereas
 quality of
work
 is the main disadvantage. Saving the conditions of
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nature is the main task in our time and some days
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
“
energy
 savers” are good solutions for the environment. One cannot deny that
this
 is the new type of working and improving
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
eco level. Employees can finish their tasks in comfortable working conditions,
for example
 at home, in the café, or in the
worker
Change noun form
worker's
show examples
 corner.
This
 decision will
also
 affect the company's
energy
 payment
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it would save its money and will increase
financial
Correct pronoun usage
its financial
show examples
 level. The main disadvantage is the quality of
work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because nobody can see your working process and cannot check you. There is a small decrease in the
work
 level. Many people think that if they
work
 in other places, apart from working, they can reduce their quality of
work
. But it depends on the person, on the worker. We cannot ignore the fact that it doesn’t matter which co-worker we have, he will still help nature. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I can say that the arguments which we have presented would indicate that less time in the office can reduce the use of
energy
. Research has shown the statistics of
energy
 use and if we
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve our online
work
,
save
Correct word choice
and save
show examples
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 resources, we will see results in the near future.
Submitted by 6atb8k on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure with clear transitions between paragraphs, and by clearly delineating your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure both introduction and conclusion synthesize the main arguments effectively and provide a clear response to the question.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, detailed examples, and data where possible, to demonstrate the impact on energy use and work quality.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages with a clear position throughout.
task achievement
Develop ideas fully to ensure they are comprehensive and easily understood, considering the implications and practicalities of the argument.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples or case studies to back up points and illustrate the theoretical advantages or disadvantages discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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