Today people live away from their friends and family to find a job in other cities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

People

prefer to go out to find a job and live far from their hometown in recent years. I believe the upsides do not outweigh the downsides. Living far away from their

friends

and family in other cities brings two benefits to

people

To begin

with,

people

can earn more money.

For example

, there are many

people

from America in Taiwan because they can get two times or three times higher profit than they stay in their hometown.

Moreover

, it is easy to save money in some cities. In some

cities

Add a comma

cities,

show examples

rent is cheaper than in their hometown so they can find a nice place to live and save a lot of money. Regardless of the upsides above, the drawbacks brought by living away from their

friends

and family should be more carefully considered.

People

will be not close to their

friends

and family. There is a four-hour time difference between Australia and Taiwan. When

people

wake up to work in Australia,

people

in Taiwan still sleep. It did not have enough time to contact

friends

and family and

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

will not be close anymore.

In addition

, it is hard to find a close friend or family to help when

emergency

Add an article

an emergency

the emergency

show examples

happened

Wrong verb form

happens

show examples

. If one person has a car accident and he or she cannot choose for herself,

this

condition always needs

family’s

Correct article usage

the family’s

show examples

sign to agree with something.

To sum up

, living far away from their

friends

and family surely brings advantages.

However

, it is easy to be not close to

friends

and family and inconvenient

while

emergency.

Submitted by pobbywang on Wed Dec 06 2023

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Task Response

Ensure you fully address the prompt by providing a clear position throughout your response, such as whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Expand your main points with detailed support and consequences, contrasting both sides adequately.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a clear logical structure to organize your ideas effectively. Paragraphing is necessary to separate points but also consider a varied range of cohesive devices and transition phrases.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

opportunities
financial stability
personal growth
emotional distance
support network
missing out on
important moments
manage effectively

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Today people live away from their friends and family to find a job in other cities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

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Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?