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Today people live away from their friends and family to find a job in other cities. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #friends #job #cities
People
 prefer to go out to find a job and live far from their hometown in recent years. I believe the upsides do not outweigh the downsides. Living far away from their
friends
 and family in other cities brings two benefits to
people
.
To begin
 with,
people
 can earn more money.
For example
, there are many
people
 from America in Taiwan because they can get two times or three times higher profit than they stay in their hometown.
Moreover
, it is easy to save money in some cities. In some
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
 rent is cheaper than in their hometown so they can find a nice place to live and save a lot of money. Regardless of the upsides above, the drawbacks brought by living away from their
friends
 and family should be more carefully considered.
People
 will be not close to their
friends
 and family. There is a four-hour time difference between Australia and Taiwan. When
people
 wake up to work in Australia,
people
 in Taiwan still sleep. It did not have enough time to contact
friends
 and family and
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 will not be close anymore.
In addition
, it is hard to find a close friend or family to help when
emergency
Add an article
an emergency
the emergency
show examples
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
. If one person has a car accident and he or she cannot choose for herself,
this
 condition always needs
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
show examples
 sign to agree with something.
To sum up
, living far away from their
friends
 and family surely brings advantages.
However
, it is easy to be not close to
friends
 and family and inconvenient
while
 emergency.
Submitted by pobbywang on

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Task Response
Ensure you fully address the prompt by providing a clear position throughout your response, such as whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Expand your main points with detailed support and consequences, contrasting both sides adequately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a clear logical structure to organize your ideas effectively. Paragraphing is necessary to separate points but also consider a varied range of cohesive devices and transition phrases.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunities
  • financial stability
  • personal growth
  • emotional distance
  • support network
  • missing out on
  • important moments
  • manage effectively
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