IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who attended four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists to England who attended four different attractions in Brighton.
#line #proportion #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton
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The chart gives information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
UK who visited various places in
Brigton
Correct your spelling
Brighton
.
Overall
Linking Words
 it is seen that
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 to
pavillion
Correct your spelling
pavilion
 and pier increased.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 gallery and festival ratio of
visitors
Use synonyms
 decreased from 1980 to 2010. In detail,
pavillion
Correct your spelling
pavilion
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 was 23% in 1980.It increased regularly to 28% in 1985 but after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 a sudden jump
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 seen in
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to pavillion (48%) in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 decreased to 31% in 2010.In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
pier
Add an article
the pier
a pier
show examples
,10%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 visited
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 1980.After many fluctuations in
tourists
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
, pier
Use synonyms
tourists
Change noun form
tourists'
tourist's
show examples
 proportion
rised upto
Correct your spelling
rose up to
 22%
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 showed a promising
turn over
Correct your spelling
turnover
show examples
 in 1985 with 38%
tourists
Use synonyms
 but
in1990
Correct your spelling
in 1990
 it plummeted to 20% in 1990 and
then
Linking Words
 remained 20%
visitors
Use synonyms
 till 2000.After 2000,the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 dropped to
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 8% in 2010 among all destinations in Brighton.
However
Linking Words
,festival
Use synonyms
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
show examples
 attractions nearly remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the duration from 30% in 1980 to 28% in 2010.
Submitted by jamalashraf45 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, visitors, tourists with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • tourists
  • attractions
  • trends
  • popularity
  • seasonal variations
  • attendance figures
  • locality
  • predicting
  • data analysis
  • fluctuations
  • peak season
  • decline
  • increment
  • steady
  • plummet
  • surge
  • stagnate
  • benchmark
  • correlate
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