Your child is going on a three-day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: • Say why you would like to go on the trip • Suggest what you could do to help during the trip • Ask other questions about the trip

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Dear Mrs Felycia, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter because my kid told me yesterday that the School will be holding a field trip to

Singapore

Use synonyms

, and he told me that you want to be absent the parent who wants join to

Use synonyms

Singapore

Change preposition

in Singapore

show examples

. I want to confirm that

Use synonyms

join the field trip. I am overthinking because my kid is too young to travel alone far from me

although

Linking Words

he goes with his friends and teachers.

Therefore

Linking Words

, you can

be booking

Wrong verb form

book

show examples

a ticket for me and my ticket name is Andrianto Raharja. If you need information about accommodation,

Use synonyms

am willing to help you because

Use synonyms

have a friend who works in

transportation

Add an article

the transportation

show examples

sector in

Singapore

Use synonyms

. I will ask her about

Correct article usage

the

show examples

price

for

Change preposition

show examples

our accommodation

while

Linking Words

we are in

Singapore

Use synonyms

. I have some questions for you.

First,

Linking Words

what is the purpose of

this

Linking Words

trip for my kid?

Last

Linking Words

, can

Use synonyms

hang out with my child if there is an empty time in the evening? I hope

this

Linking Words

event is successful, and it has

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

for children. Yours faithfully, Andrianto

ru.kabiru.biruWed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a single clear idea. The second paragraph is somewhat confused, with two unrelated ideas being presented: your intention to join and an offer to help with accommodations.

coherence cohesion

Use salutations appropriate to the formality of the letter. 'Dear Head Teacher' would be a more suitable opening, and 'Kind regards' or 'Sincerely' are better closings for formal correspondence.

task achievement

Fulfill all task requirements. While you mention a desire to go on the trip, it is essential to explicitly state how you could be of assistance and what kind of role you could play during the trip beyond booking accommodations.

task achievement

Maintain a formal tone throughout the letter. Avoid overly casual phrases and maintain politeness. Phrases like 'l am overthinking' and 'l am willing to help you' can be replaced with 'I am concerned' and 'I would be happy to assist,' respectively.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

179 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Enthusiastic
Chaperone
Itinerary
Accommodations
Logistics
Overseeing
Cultural exchange
Assist
Supervise
Engage
Responsibilities
Bilingual
First aid certified
Emergency protocols
Team-building activities
Communication skills
Safety measures
Childcare experience
Transport arrangements
Educational objectives

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