Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that consuming
high
sugary processed Replace the word
highly
to
Change preposition
apply
products
leads to health diseases. I completely agree with
that to reduce over Change preposition
apply
consuming
of sugary Replace the word
consumption
products
must be more expensive.
many people
over consuming
sugary Wrong verb form
consume
products
they
are cheap. Correct pronoun usage
that
for
example
Add a comma
example,
restaurant
and America serve free Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
sugar
soda for
their customers unlimitedly. I think Change preposition
to
this
may causes
Change the verb form
cause
Correct pronoun usage
them for
for
drink Change preposition
to
sugar
beverage
without limit.But if Fix the agreement mistake
beverages
government
implement Correct article usage
the government
20
% tax on Correct article usage
a 20
the
whole beverages must Correct article usage
apply
be
discourage consumers Unnecessary verb
apply
to buy
Change preposition
from buying
sugar
products
at all, and not waste even a minute to think about them.A regulation like this
could be extremely effective in terms of preventing obeysity
among Correct your spelling
obesity
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
people
since many of them are heavy consumers of cheap sugar
-sweetened food and beverages.
In addition
, making sugary products
more expensive can promote healthier for
eating.Change preposition
apply
This
is because if these prices of products
increase to a point at which people
are unable to afford them regularly, they turn to foods are
healthier and more affordable. Correct pronoun usage
that are
For instance
, if a can of a strawberry flavoured
beverage price increase more than three times the price of a box of fresh strawberries leads Add a hyphen
strawberry-flavoured
to
Change preposition
apply
people
to think about buying fresh strawberry packet instead
of sugar
artificial beverages
cans. Change the noun form
beverage
Although
, fresh fruits also
contain sugar
, natural Sugars are much healthier than added ones.
To conclude
, sugar sweetened
Add a hyphen
sugar-sweetened
product
should be made expensive to reduce Fix the agreement mistake
products
sugar
intake. For one thing, over consumption
of these Correct your spelling
overconsumption
products
are
partly because of their low cost for another increasing their price can encourage Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
to choose healthier foods.Submitted by lakshanichathuri896 on
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structural
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should outline the main points to be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize them.
cohesion
Work on creating logical sequencing of ideas. Use cohesive devices effectively to help guide the reader through your argument without causing confusion.
supporting points
Support main points with strong, clear examples. Avoid vague references to ensure that the argument is compelling and persuasive.
task response
Your essay should fully address all parts of the task. Clearly state your opinion and ensure that your argument covers all the necessary aspects of the question.
ideas clarity
Ensure that your ideas are clear, relevant, and developed comprehensively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and well-explained supporting points.
examples relevance
Provide specific examples to emphasize your points. The examples should be directly related to the argument and should be used to reinforce your opinions.