You have seen a Tourist Board advert welcoming nominations for a 'Best City/Town Award.' Nominate your home city/town. Write a letter to the Tourist Board. In your letter • nominate your town/city and refer to its location • explain what is special about your city/town • say how winning an award would change your city/town

#tourist #board #advert #nominations #city #town #award #home #location

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter because

saw about best town awarding. I want to tell you that

recommend my home town to be one of nominate

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

city because it is located in

Add an article

the center

show examples

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

of Indonesia. It is named

Makassar

, and

Makassar

has

strategic

Add an article

a strategic

show examples

location, so

nominate

Makassar

to be

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

city. My reason why

Makassar

is the best city

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

it has clean air. There is

rule

Correct article usage

a rule

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Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

that vehicle is not allowed in the morning, so people go to work by public transport. It

also

have

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has

show examples

delicous

Correct your spelling

delicious

culinary

Replace the word

cuisine

show examples

, and

think that it is the best

culinary

Replace the word

cuisine

show examples

in the world.

Therefore

Makassar

is the best control of

polution

Correct your spelling

pollution

and culinary. If

Makassar

could

be winning

Wrong verb form

win

show examples

this

award,

Makassar

would be increasing in

tourism

Add an article

the tourism

show examples

sector. Economic of

Makassar

also

increasing because local

tourist

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tourists

show examples

and foreign

tourist

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tourists

show examples

would come to

Makassar

, so it is good for

Makassar

in each sector. I hope

Makassar

could be one of

nominate

Correct article usage

the nominate

show examples

, and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could win

this

award.

Thankyou

Correct your spelling

Thank you

show examples

Yours faithfully, Andrianto Raharja

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Dec 07 2023

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Task Response

Regarding task response, ensure that your letter responds to all parts of the prompt fully. You mentioned the location and special qualities of your town, but the explanation could be expanded with more detail and specific examples to strengthen your nomination.

Task Response

Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly. While you have mentioned important points, providing more specific examples and elaborating on them would give your letter additional depth and interest.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph contains a central idea and is fully developed. Use linking words effectively to connect your sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the logical flow of your letter.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your letter has a clear structure, but there is room for improvement in organizing your ideas more coherently. Consider outlining your letter first to ensure each paragraph logically follows from the one before it.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure you include an appropriate opening and closing in your letter. While you have included both, they could be more formal to match the context of writing to the Tourist Board.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

178 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

nomination
welcoming
geographical
historical
cultural
recreational
diversity
demographic
cuisine
community spirit
architectural heritage
landmarks
reputation
boost tourism
investment
adaptive reuse of spaces
urban renewal
sustainable travel destination
flourishing arts scene
culinary delights

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the diadvantages.

Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved.

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your own opinion.