IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Take a look at the graphic and complete the task. The table shows average calorie intake in the United States over a period of time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Take a look at the graphic and complete the task. The table shows average calorie intake in the United States over a period of time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#look #calorie #intake #states #period #time #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes
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The graph shows the
salary
Use synonyms
 comparison and the average working
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 of different professions in the UK from the start and after three years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the graph that all the incomes of employees in different fields
increase
Wrong verb form
have increased
show examples
 during the
last
Linking Words
 three years. It is noticeable that an underground driver has the highest
salary
Use synonyms
 at under £50.000 and reaches a peak at over £50.000,
while
Linking Words
 a nurse has the lowest
salary
Use synonyms
 at about £16.000 and increases sharply to around £19.000 three years later. From the table,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 a teacher and a firefighter spend the longest time at work. Their average working
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 is 55,
while
Linking Words
 an underground driver only takes 36
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 at work. It can be concluded from both the graph and the table that an underground driver earns the highest income and spends fewer
hours
Use synonyms
 working per
week
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
salary
Use synonyms
 rate of a teacher is in the middle but takes the longest time at work.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, hours, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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