IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The Chart below shows the electricity consumption in different sectors of Europe in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The Chart below shows the electricity consumption in different sectors of Europe in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart illustrates the
electricity
Use synonyms
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 in various
sectors
Use synonyms
 of Europe in 2007 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 it shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 sector
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
 less
electricity
Use synonyms
 than other
sectors
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 2007
residential
Correct article usage
the residential
show examples
 sector
uses
Wrong verb form
used
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 28% of
electricity
Use synonyms
 following
commercial
Correct article usage
the commercial
show examples
 with 23%
qnd
Correct your spelling
and
alluminium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
 with 13.20%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 between other metals and manufacturing
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 almost similar
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 12.30% and 12.70% respectively.
Electricity
Use synonyms
 spent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
mining
Correct article usage
the mining
show examples
 sector
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 9% in 2007.
Moreover
Linking Words
, transport (1%) and agriculture (0.80%)
consumes
Change the verb form
consume
show examples
 less than 2% of
overall
Linking Words
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , in 2010 most of the
electricity
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
was spen
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spen
Correct your spelling
spent
 on residential(28%) and commercial(23%)
sectors
Use synonyms
 following other metal
consumes
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
 18.30% of
electricity
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption on
alluminium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
 and mining were 11% and 9.4% respectively. Transportation and agriculture were the only
sectors
Use synonyms
 having less
electricity
Use synonyms
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 with 1% and .8% respectively

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, sectors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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