IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students in a classroom. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching?

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In
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At
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this
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 time,
time-tested
Correct article usage
a time-tested
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approach
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 to teaching is used in many educational institutions and new technologies help
in
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with
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this
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. In my opinion,
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 benefits of
new
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a new
the new
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approach
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in
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to
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 teaching
is
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are
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 comfort,
easy
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and easy
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 accessibility of
many
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apply
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information
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.
However
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, many drawbacks of
new
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a new
the new
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 method of learning
is
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are
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distraction
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a distraction
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 from the educational process and, false
information
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss these reasons in detail and share some positive and negative impacts.
To begin
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 with,
new
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a new
the new
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approach
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in
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to
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 teaching is more comfortable for people.
For instance
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, during pandemics
the
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apply
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all educational institutions taught their students online in 2019 and
every
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apply
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students from different countries could return to their
hometown
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hometowns
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, they could be near their parents and study at the same time.
Also
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, another positive aspect of
new
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a new
the new
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 method
in
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of
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 teaching is
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the
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easy accessibility of
many
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apply
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information
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 and the new training
information
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 can be obtained quickly. On the one hand, there
is
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are
show examples
 negative consequences of
new
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a new
the new
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approach
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in
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to
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 teaching.
Then
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, one of them is
distraction
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a distraction
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 from the educational process
with
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by
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 applying new technologies.
For instance
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, the smartphones and gadgets are distracting most of the society.
Moreover
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, there are a lot of false
informations
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information
pieces of information
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. That’s why, a lot of
population
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the population
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 faces
such
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 problems as an incorrect understanding of tasks, incorrect answers to questions
and
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apply
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etc.
To conclude
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, the new
approach
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in
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to
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 teaching has advantages and disadvantages as discussed above. With every passing day a new
approach
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 in teaching is changing.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay does present valid points regarding the advantages and disadvantages of new technology in education, the overall structure seems somewhat disjointed. Maintain a clear distinction between paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph's main idea is developed coherently. Transitions between points should be smooth, with relevant linking phrases to help the essay flow naturally.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question and outlines the points you will discuss. Similarly, your conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments made. Include a clearly discernible opinion to strengthen your position, enhancing the essay’s persuasive quality.
task achievement
Your essay's task response is fairly successful but lacks depth in discussing the examples provided. To improve, expand on the examples with more details that illustrate your points effectively. Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further by adding more relevant and specific examples that back up your points. Instead of being general, focus on how new technologies specifically affect education. Provide real-world examples and case studies, if possible, to make your argument stronger and more relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Multimedia content
  • Automated grading
  • Global collaboration
  • Critical thinking
  • Personalized learning
  • Digital divide
  • Interactive software
  • E-learning platforms
  • Virtual classrooms
  • Technological literacy
  • Distance education
  • Digital resources
  • Cybersecurity concerns
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Pedagogical approaches
  • Disruption in education
  • Innovative teaching methods
  • Accessibility features
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