The figures below compare the number of internet users in several European nations as well as the prevalence of online shopping in these countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The provided two charts showcase the number of web users in three distinct years (1995, 2000 and 2004)
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

depict
Change the verb form
depicting

The verb depict may be in the wrong form after the subordinating conjunction while. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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the proportion of online customers during 2004 among the five European
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, namely Switzerland, Germany, France, Spain and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

Your article usage with the geographic name UK may be incorrect.

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.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as expected, the popularity of
Correct article usage
the internet

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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internet
Capitalize word
Internet

The word internet should be capitalized in this context.

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increased
by
Change preposition
over

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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time, resulting in a steady
grow
Replace the word
growth

The word grow doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in the user population within the five
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

respectively. At the same time, the ranking of
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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internet users remained constant throughout the three years. Given that
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

Your article usage with the geographic name UK may be incorrect.

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took up the leading position, the data rose from 16
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million

It seems that millions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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users in 1995 to 41
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

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in 2004.
Following
Wrong verb form
Followed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb Following. Consider changing it.

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by Germany (15
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

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in 2004), France (6
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

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in 2004) and Switzerland (4
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

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in 2004)
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively

If you don’t want repectively to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Meanwhile, the
modest
Replace the word
smallest

The word modest doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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country is Spain, containing 0.5
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
population in 1995 to 2
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

millions
Change to singular
million

It appears that the number millions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

show examples
in 2004. Even though Britain still outnumbered other
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in terms of online shoppers in 2004, it accounted for approximately one-third of the pie chart,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

similarly
Change the word
similar

Similarly seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples
to Spain and France. At the same time, Germany and Switzerland shared the remaining one-
third,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

concluding least Swiss shopped online.

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task achievement
To score higher in the area of Task Response, ensure that you fully cover the requirements of the task by reporting on all key features of the charts accurately. You must provide a detailed account of the information presented, making sure to compare data points when relevant. Your essay only summarily addresses the key features, and there are inaccuracies in the data reported especially for the numbers for Germany and France in 2004.
coherence cohesion
To achieve better coherence and cohesion, work on logically organizing your information and ideas. While there is some logical structuring, transitions between them must be smoother, and the overall essay must follow a clear and natural progression. Pay attention to how paragraphs are introduced and how they logically flow from one to the other.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay contains a clear introductory statement and a conclusive final statement. Your essay currently lacks a definitive conclusion, which can affect the coherence and cohesion of your writing. Both these components are crucial in framing your essay and providing closure to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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