IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The figures below compare the number of internet users in several European nations as well as the prevalence of online shopping in these countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The provided two charts showcase the number of web users in three distinct years (1995, 2000 and 2004)
while
Linking Words
depict
Change the verb form
depicting
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 the proportion of online customers during 2004 among the five European
countries
Use synonyms
, namely Switzerland, Germany, France, Spain and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, as expected, the popularity of
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 increased
by
Change preposition
over
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 time, resulting in a steady
grow
Replace the word
growth
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 in the user population within the five
countries
Use synonyms
 respectively. At the same time, the ranking of
countries
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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internet users remained constant throughout the three years. Given that
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 took up the leading position, the data rose from 16
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
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users in 1995 to 41
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2004.
Following
Wrong verb form
Followed
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 by Germany (15
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2004), France (6
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2004) and Switzerland (4
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2004)
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. Meanwhile, the
modest
Replace the word
smallest
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 country is Spain, containing 0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 population in 1995 to 2
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2004. Even though Britain still outnumbered other
countries
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 in terms of online shoppers in 2004, it accounted for approximately one-third of the pie chart,
Linking Words
similarly
Change the word
similar
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 to Spain and France. At the same time, Germany and Switzerland shared the remaining one-
third,
Linking Words
concluding least Swiss shopped online.

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task achievement
To score higher in the area of Task Response, ensure that you fully cover the requirements of the task by reporting on all key features of the charts accurately. You must provide a detailed account of the information presented, making sure to compare data points when relevant. Your essay only summarily addresses the key features, and there are inaccuracies in the data reported especially for the numbers for Germany and France in 2004.
coherence cohesion
To achieve better coherence and cohesion, work on logically organizing your information and ideas. While there is some logical structuring, transitions between them must be smoother, and the overall essay must follow a clear and natural progression. Pay attention to how paragraphs are introduced and how they logically flow from one to the other.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay contains a clear introductory statement and a conclusive final statement. Your essay currently lacks a definitive conclusion, which can affect the coherence and cohesion of your writing. Both these components are crucial in framing your essay and providing closure to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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