The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in four various counties of Europe- Germany, Italy, France and Austria from the year 1995 up to 2005.

The graph below  shows the amount of money spent on books in four various counties of Europe- Germany, Italy, France and Austria from the year 1995 up to 2005.
The provided line graph illustrates the magnitude of funds expended on
books
in different nations
Germany
, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. The figure shows that the unit
measured
Add a missing verb
is measured
show examples
in
million
Correct your spelling
millions
show examples
of US
dollars
.
Overall
, It can be clearly seen that the highest budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
on
books
between 1995 and 2005 was
Germany
.
In addition
, the majority of
rose
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
funds expended on
books
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
Austria
Change preposition
in Austria
show examples
.
On the other hand
, Italy was at least paid
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
books
between 1995 and 2005.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
Germany
was the majority in expended on
books
at 80
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
US
dollars
in 1995. The bulk of
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
on
books
in
Germany
slightly increased
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
90
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
US
dollars
and
then
slightly decreased to 85
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
US
dollars
in 2003. There was
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
show examples
increase
spent
Wrong verb form
in spending
show examples
on
books
in
Germany
in 2005.
However
, in 1995, Austria which was the minority spent on
books
at 30
millons
Correct your spelling
million
and
then
significantly increased to 70
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2005.
In addition
,
France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
and Italy, there was
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Change the word
slight
show examples
rise in
spent
Replace the word
spending
show examples
on
books
around 55
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
and 50
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
to 55 and 65
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
respectively.
Submitted by alisa.chuaypalad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, germany, dollars, millions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: