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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in four various counties of Europe- Germany, Italy, France and Austria from the year 1995 up to 2005.

The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in four various counties of Europe- Germany, Italy, France and Austria from the year 1995 up to 2005.
The provided line graph illustrates the magnitude of funds expended on
books
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 in different nations
Germany
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, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. The figure shows that the unit
measured
Add a missing verb
is measured
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 in
million
Correct your spelling
millions
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 of US
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, It can be clearly seen that the highest budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
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 on
books
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 between 1995 and 2005 was
Germany
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the majority of
rose
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 funds expended on
books
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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Austria
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in Austria
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Italy was at least paid
on
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for
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books
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 2005.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
Germany
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 was the majority in expended on
books
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 at 80
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 US
dollars
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 in 1995. The bulk of
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
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 on
books
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 in
Germany
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 slightly increased
around
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to around
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 90
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 US
dollars
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 and
then
Linking Words
 slightly decreased to 85
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 US
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2003. There was
dramatically
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a dramatic
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 increase
spent
Wrong verb form
in spending
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 on
books
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 in
Germany
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 in 2005.
However
Linking Words
, in 1995, Austria which was the minority spent on
books
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 at 30
millons
Correct your spelling
million
 and
then
Linking Words
 significantly increased to 70
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2005.
In addition
Linking Words
,
France
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in France
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 and Italy, there was
Correct article usage
a slightly
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slightly
Change the word
slight
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 rise in
spent
Replace the word
spending
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 on
books
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 around 55
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 50
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 55 and 65
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, germany, dollars, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • expenditure
  • fluctuations
  • economic factors
  • population changes
  • cultural shifts
  • spending patterns
  • steady growth
  • decline
  • projection
  • implications
  • data reliability
  • comparative analysis
  • highest/lowest expenditure
  • investments in literature
  • consumer behavior
  • market trends
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