The chart below shows the average money spent per costumer on various types of equipment in a Canadian sports store

The chart below shows the average money spent per costumer on various types of equipment in a Canadian sports store
The chart explains the average expenditure per
customer
on different types of sports
equipment
in a Canadian sports store in the span of 20 years from 2000 to 2020. It is obvious from the chart that the trends varied depending on the type of
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
. Looking at the chart, the amount of
money
from
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
who purchased a sport
equipment
,
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
football, tennis and swimming decreased from 2000 to 2010. Meanwhile, the number of
money
spent on rugby and swimming
equipment
significantly rose
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
$20.00 and $10.00 respectively per
customer
in the span of 10 years from 2000 to 2010.
Furthermore
, the data shows similar trends for tennis and swimming
equipment
in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
2010 to 2020 as the number of
money
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased.
In contrast
, the amount of
money
spent by
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
dramatically plummeted to about $30.00 for rugby
equipment
in the
last
10 years.
Submitted by firmanrasyidi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words customer, equipment, money with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: