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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the average money spent per costumer on various types of equipment in a Canadian sports store

The chart below shows the average money spent per costumer on various types of equipment in a Canadian sports store
#money #costumer #equipment #canadian #sports #store
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The chart explains the average expenditure per
customer
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 on different types of sports
equipment
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 in a Canadian sports store in the span of 20 years from 2000 to 2020. It is obvious from the chart that the trends varied depending on the type of
sports
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sport
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. Looking at the chart, the amount of
money
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 from
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customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 who purchased a sport
equipment
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,
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
 football, tennis and swimming decreased from 2000 to 2010. Meanwhile, the number of
money
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 spent on rugby and swimming
equipment
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 significantly rose
about
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to about
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 $20.00 and $10.00 respectively per
customer
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 in the span of 10 years from 2000 to 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the data shows similar trends for tennis and swimming
equipment
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 in the
year
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years
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 2010 to 2020 as the number of
money
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
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 spent by
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customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 dramatically plummeted to about $30.00 for rugby
equipment
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years.
Submitted by firmanrasyidi on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words customer, equipment, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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