The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the stages
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
making carbonated drinks.
Overall
, it's
5-
Add an article
a 5-stage
show examples
stage
, man-made, linear process which starts with raw
water
and
finally
results in the delivery of bottled and canned
water
to supermarkets. First of all, the first
stage
is
water
cleaning, where raw
water
from the warehouse is filtered
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
added with
water
softener and chemicals. After that,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stage
2 of heating evaporation and carbonation involves
water
to be
Change the verb form
being
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pumped into electric heaters and
runned
Correct your spelling
run
show examples
through a cooling pipe into a tank, where carbon dioxide is added. Following that, at the third
stage
, carbonated
water
is
runned
Correct your spelling
run
show examples
along a pipe to a mixing tank, where it is mixed with colouring, syrup and flavour. Once
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
filtered again, at
stage
four,
water
is filled into either bottles or cans and packaged into containers.
Finally
, in the
last
stage
, the boxes are delivered to supermarkets for
selling
Replace the word
sale
show examples
.The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks. Summarise the information by selecting and
report in
Wrong verb form
reporting
show examples
the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Submitted by tieuvuphuonghoa on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Filtration
  • Water softening
  • Chemical treatment
  • Evaporation
  • Cooling pipe
  • Carbonation
  • Carbon dioxide
  • High pressure
  • Syrup
  • Flavor
  • Color
  • Stirring
  • Uniformity
  • Secondary filtration
  • Bottling
  • Canning
  • Packaging
  • Distribution
  • Retail outlets
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