The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart below depicts the
percentage
of
Australin
Correct your spelling
Australian
men
and
women
with various
age
groups who did
reguler
Correct your spelling
regular
physical activity back in 2010. In a flash of
eye
Add an article
an eye
the eye
show examples
, the highest
percentage
is held by
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
45 to 54. Followed by 35's and 55's.
Men
tended to be more active than
women
in their early
20's
Change noun form
20s
show examples
. It can be seen from the chart that the
percentage
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
male in their 15 to 24 have a
percentage
of 52
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Meanwhile for
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
25 to 44, they have a lower number of
percent
which is around 40
percent
.
Age
Correct article usage
The age
show examples
group
from 45 to 65 and over have more
percentage
than the younger peeps. From the
stat
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
, it can be concluded that
men
's prime
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
mostly are when they are in their twenties. The
age
from 25 to 44 tended to have less
percentage
since their time
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
full of
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
. Groups from 45 to 65 and over may be retired, and that explains why
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they have more
percentage
than the younger
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. For the
women
, their prime
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
are when they are at
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
of 45 to 54. Between
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
and
women
's
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
, the
age
group
of 65 and over has the least
differ
Replace the word
difference
show examples
in the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Biggest
Add an article
The biggest
show examples
difference in number can be seen in
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
45 to 54, where 
men
only have 41
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
and 
women
have 53
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by jedidia.husodo on

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
Linking words: Add linking words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, men, women, age, group, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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