some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change.others however think that change is always a good thing.discuss both views and give your opinion.

Change
is
inevitable
Correct article usage
an inevitable
show examples
part of our
lives
. It signifies development and
progress
in human
lives
. Those who resist
change
find themselves left behind in development. People who prefer predictability and safety
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
doing
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
thing in their
life
.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
provides stability and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of security. I will discuss both views and agree with the statement that adopting
change
is
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
show examples
part of our
lives
. On the one hand,
change
is part of our
lives
. Human civilization always
embrace
Change the verb form
embraces
show examples
change
to prosper and develop. Because of
changes
in all aspects of
Add a comma
live,
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
we are now more comfortable and secure in
life
.
Change
signifies innovation and prosperity for us.
For example
, if we have not accepted
changes
like
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
of computers in our
lives
, we have not embraced development in our
lives
.
Moreover
,
changes
in
life
works as a catalyst for growth, learning, and adaptation. Societal
progress
often relies on a willingness to challenge the status quo and innovate,
On the other hand
, reluctant to
change
is seen as
unadoptable
Add an article
an unadoptable
show examples
way of
life
. Where people are more comfortable with
fixed
Add an article
a fixed
show examples
set of activities. It gives them assurance and control over daily
life
activities. Predictability can reduce stress and create a sense of control, as individuals know what to expect each day.
This
mindset values the known over the unknown, leading to a reluctance to step outside established patterns.
for instance
. People driving petrol vehicles are not reluctant to use Electrical vehicles. As fining charging point is
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
task for them. In conclusion, adopting
change
is beneficial to everyone as
fixed
Add an article
a fixed
show examples
set of
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
will hinder human race growth as provides a sense of stability for some, embracing
change
emerges as a catalyst for growth and
progress
. We should adopt
changes
to foster
progress
.
Submitted by yash334 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensure that both views are discussed equally, providing clear arguments for each before stating your personal stance. While your essay attempts to consider both sides of the argument and gives an opinion, greater balance and development of the counter-argument would strengthen your position.
Coherence Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, utilize a clearer topic sentence in each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. While there is an attempt to structure the essay, transitions between ideas sometimes lack smoothness. Improve this by using linking words effectively and organizing paragraphs in a more logical flow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: