IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change.others however think that change is always a good thing.discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Change
Use synonyms
 is
inevitable
Correct article usage
an inevitable
show examples
 part of our
lives
Use synonyms
. It signifies development and
progress
Use synonyms
 in human
lives
Use synonyms
. Those who resist
change
Use synonyms
 find themselves left behind in development. People who prefer predictability and safety
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
 doing
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 thing in their
life
Use synonyms
.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
 provides stability and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of security. I will discuss both views and agree with the statement that adopting
change
Use synonyms
 is
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
show examples
 part of our
lives
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
change
Use synonyms
 is part of our
lives
Use synonyms
. Human civilization always
embrace
Change the verb form
embraces
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 to prosper and develop. Because of
changes
Use synonyms
 in all aspects of
Add a comma
live,
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 we are now more comfortable and secure in
life
Use synonyms
.
Change
Use synonyms
 signifies innovation and prosperity for us.
For example
Linking Words
, if we have not accepted
changes
Use synonyms
 like
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of computers in our
lives
Use synonyms
, we have not embraced development in our
lives
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
changes
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
 works as a catalyst for growth, learning, and adaptation. Societal
progress
Use synonyms
 often relies on a willingness to challenge the status quo and innovate,
On the other hand
Linking Words
, reluctant to
change
Use synonyms
 is seen as
unadoptable
Add an article
an unadoptable
show examples
 way of
life
Use synonyms
. Where people are more comfortable with
fixed
Add an article
a fixed
show examples
 set of activities. It gives them assurance and control over daily
life
Use synonyms
 activities. Predictability can reduce stress and create a sense of control, as individuals know what to expect each day.
This
Linking Words
 mindset values the known over the unknown, leading to a reluctance to step outside established patterns.
for instance
Linking Words
. People driving petrol vehicles are not reluctant to use Electrical vehicles. As fining charging point is
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
show examples
 task for them. In conclusion, adopting
change
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to everyone as
fixed
Add an article
a fixed
show examples
 set of
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
 will hinder human race growth as provides a sense of stability for some, embracing
change
Use synonyms
 emerges as a catalyst for growth and
progress
Use synonyms
. We should adopt
changes
Use synonyms
 to foster
progress
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensure that both views are discussed equally, providing clear arguments for each before stating your personal stance. While your essay attempts to consider both sides of the argument and gives an opinion, greater balance and development of the counter-argument would strengthen your position.
Coherence Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, utilize a clearer topic sentence in each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. While there is an attempt to structure the essay, transitions between ideas sometimes lack smoothness. Improve this by using linking words effectively and organizing paragraphs in a more logical flow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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