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Writing Samples /
Band 4

The table below shows how patients evaluated different services at three health centres. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how patients evaluated different services at three health centres. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#patients #services #three #health #centres #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The picture demonstrates how patients rated services at three different hospitals. The best clinic
according to
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
 of people is
Peveril
Centre
 with the highest score
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overall
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place is
Marchbank
Centre
 and the worst health
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 is
Longston
Centre
. In
Peveril
Centre
Add a comma
Centre,
show examples
 the highest point was for
section
Correct article usage
the section
show examples
 “Response to concerns” with 9.6, but in
Longston
Centre
 it was the lowest one of all with 4.3 from max grade – 10.
Peveril
Centre
 had the best grade for “Booking appointments”,
instead
 of another two
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 with 5.2 and 7.8.
However
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Longston
Centre
 had one good mark for “Doctor`s service”, others were lower than 6,5. In
Marchbank
Centre
 and
Peveril
Centre
 the worst
marks
Fix the agreement mistake
mark
show examples
 for both was point “Pharmacy” (with 6,3 in
Peveril
Centre
 and 5.8 in
Marchbank
Centre
).
Also
,
Marchbank
Centre
compete
Wrong verb form
competed
show examples
 with
Peveril
Centre
 in Doctor`s service with 8,7 against 8,4, but
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 one had
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
 rate. For “Care of children” the worst
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all variants was
Longston
Centre
 with 6.3
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
Peveril
Centre
 and
Marchbank
Centre
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
scored 7.5 and 7.3.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words peveril, centre, marchbank, longston with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 0 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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