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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #information #features #comparisons
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The provided three pie charts depict the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of three substances, namely
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added sugar, in different
meals
Use synonyms
 consumed by Americans.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportions of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat share
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively
show examples
 similar distribution among different
meals
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
 the that of added sugar. Not surprisingly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Americans intake the most
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat during dinner time, accounting for 43% and 37% respectively as compared to other
meals
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 their consumption during breakfast (approximately 15%) and lunch (around 27%) is relatively consistent, the
nutrients
Change the noun form
nutrient
show examples
 composition of
snacks
Use synonyms
 has demonstrated variation; saturated fat (21%)
outweights
Correct your spelling
outweighs
 the
sodium
Use synonyms
 during
Use synonyms
snacks
Change the noun form
snack
show examples
 time (14%). Leading in
snacks
Use synonyms
, the added
surgar
Correct your spelling
sugar
 content in the three other
meals
Use synonyms
 distributes evenly, contributing to around
one-forth
Correct your spelling
one-fourth
show examples
 of the
overall
Linking Words
 intake. 42% of the added sugar is found in
snacks
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, meals, snacks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average percentages
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • meal
  • typical meals
  • categories
  • high percentage
  • distribution
  • patterns
  • trends
  • nutrient-dense
  • data
  • comparison
  • summarize
  • reporting main features
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