The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town.

#rain #water #australian #town

This

diagram illustrates the

water

collection and purification in an Australian town, the procedures from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

collecting

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

and

treated

Wrong verb form

treating

show examples

it to edible

water

Overall

it is clear that

there are five steps from

water

collecting

Replace the word

collection

show examples

to usage. In the first step,

while

it is raining, the roof will collect

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

to the drain,

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

water

will go through the

water

filter which is used for cleaning the substance inside

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

. After the second step, the filtered

water

will be concentrated in the storage tanks.

While

the residents need to use the

water

resource, the

water

in the storage tank will move into another tank for

water

treatment. During

this

process, there are several kinds of chemicals will be

addded

Correct your spelling

added

into

Change preposition

show examples

the tank, in order to clear the potential risks. After the

last

cleaning procedure, the

water

become

Wrong verb form

becomes

show examples

edible and the pipeline will

trasmit

Correct your spelling

transmit

the drinking

water

to the

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

which have

water

demand.

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Sat Dec 09 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

156 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write at least 250 words

Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However some say that young people can also take the lead of organisations or companies. To what extend do you agree or disagree?