The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town.

#rain #water #australian #town

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This

Linking Words

diagram illustrates the

water

Use synonyms

collection and purification in an Australian town, the procedures from

the

Correct article usage

apply

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collecting

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

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water

Use synonyms

and

treated

Wrong verb form

treating

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it to edible

water

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Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

there are five steps from

water

Use synonyms

collecting

Replace the word

collection

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to usage. In the first step,

while

Linking Words

it is raining, the roof will collect

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

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water

Use synonyms

to the drain,

Linking Words

then

Correct word choice

and then

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water

Use synonyms

will go through the

water

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filter which is used for cleaning the substance inside

Use synonyms

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

. After the second step, the filtered

water

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will be concentrated in the storage tanks.

While

Linking Words

the residents need to use the

water

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resource, the

water

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in the storage tank will move into another tank for

water

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treatment. During

this

Linking Words

process, there are several kinds of chemicals will be

addded

Correct your spelling

added

into

Change preposition

show examples

the tank, in order to clear the potential risks. After the

last

Linking Words

cleaning procedure, the

water

Use synonyms

become

Wrong verb form

becomes

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edible and the pipeline will

trasmit

Correct your spelling

transmit

the drinking

water

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to the

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

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which have

water

Use synonyms

demand.

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Sat Dec 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

156 words

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The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town.

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with the sentence?

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?