Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately lo stop damaging the environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #development #poverty #world #growth #environment

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

of the society stated that financial growth is recommended to prevent hunger in the population

while

others stand that environmental disaster is the effect of

apply

Wrong verb form

applied

show examples

economic development so it should be stopped.

This

essay will provide both views and my personal opinion. First of all, economic growth has fundamentally

affect

Change the verb form

affected

show examples

the rise of well-being in

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

. It prevents hunger and

proverty

Correct your spelling

poverty

by giving

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

the access to increase their quality of life. Developing financial

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

also

gives optimism for living in reality.

For instance

, children who

came

Wrong verb form

come

show examples

from low-budget

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

will grow

Change preposition

up in

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

survival mode and rarely enjoy their sense of independence or existentialism. They barely know what they really want to do or to become in the future because the lack of money

did

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not inherently open how they see the world.

In addition

, poor kids will just focus

to get

Change preposition

on getting

show examples

money

only

Rephrase

apply

show examples

for eat even though they

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

enough time to reach their dreams.

Priviledged

Correct your spelling

Privileged

children tend to be more ambitious and dreamy for their future because their basic needs are already served by their parents and it provides hope growing up.

However

, so-called

economical

Correct word choice

economic

show examples

achievement used to practice exploitation towards pristine nature in the name of gaining more income which

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

to disastrous land. It is known to be less sustainable for the world to

face

Verb problem

apply

show examples

apply treatment. Many environmentalists stated that the natural habitat of

human kind

Correct your spelling

humankind

show examples

should be treated better so folks can celebrate longer lives.

For example

river

Fix the agreement mistake

rivers

show examples

and

sea

Fix the agreement mistake

seas

show examples

are often contaminated by poisonous industrial chemicals which

drives

Verb problem

leads

show examples

to limited clean water on

earth

Capitalize word

Earth

show examples

. Apply situation should open the

conciousness

Correct your spelling

consciousness

of any manufacturers for environmental diseases in the future. In conclusion, Financial growth will give benefits to

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

population as long as it is environmentally aware. I believe that many industries are thoughtful enough to provide different

approach

Fix the agreement mistake

approaches

show examples

for their production process. Experts are

also

encouraged to focus on researching

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

environmental issues

for helping

Change preposition

to help

show examples

companies to be more educated and effective

solving

Change preposition

in solving

show examples

the problems.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sat Dec 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear and cohesive structure. While an introduction and conclusion are present, the ideas within the paragraphs could be better organized. The transitions between points are abrupt and can confuse the reader. To improve, consider using more cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that develop the same idea.

task achievement

The essay touches on the topic but does not fully expand the discussion points effectively. The task requires a discussion of both sides of the argument, as well as a personal opinion. While aspects of this are present, the essay would benefit from a more comprehensive exploration of each viewpoint, including more detailed examples and an explicit statement of your own standpoint.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
In this contemporary world, obesity and low fitness levels among people are surging day by day. In a few nations, fitness levels are declining , and the medium body weights of the masses are increasing. This essay will discuss the probable reason for this , and how this complication can be tackled in a positive manner.
5
band
Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In the 21st century, construction industries are ever-increasing. Some people argue that, old structures and homes in towns have to be demolished and new buildings need to be erected, while others hold the view that such buildings should be protected. Both sides of this argument will be analyzed before a conclusion is made.
<4
band
Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are citicsen beliving that it is more convinenent to plant trees and green areas in open areas around cities and twon insted of building more housing and cemint building, and I strongly agree to that for certine reason.
<4
band
Overall, men are more satisfied with local conditions than women.
Both genders considered street lighting systems good (64 per cent for men and 63 per cent for women) with only 19 and 22 per cent respectively thinking it was poor. By contrast, while the same pattern is seen for crime levels, the proportion of both sexes thinking it was poor was much higher (32 per cent for men and 31 per cent for women); the latter also felt less satisfied when only 40 per cent of them were satisfied compared with men at 46 per cent. There is a big difference between women’s satisfaction with railway station safety compared to men, 32 per cent compared to 48 per cent for men.
7.5
band
Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with a friend. He/She has just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter ● thank him/her for the photos and for the holiday ● explain why you didn’t write earlier ● invite them to come and stay with you
I hope you are doing great, I have just seen our photos and I have to admit you are a very talented photographer.

Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately lo stop damaging the environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Overall, men are more satisfied with local conditions than women.