IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed by some that setting high
prices
Use synonyms
 for gasoline is the most efficient way to tackle issues which is related to
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
 and contamination.
While
Linking Words
 it seems the truth,I partly disagree with
this
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 assertion. On the one hand,Gasoline
prices
Use synonyms
 must be risen.
Firstly
Linking Words
.increasing petrol
prices
Use synonyms
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 drivers
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
 their private vehicles less.
This
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 is
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
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 why,driving their own
car
Use synonyms
 will cause excessive
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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instead
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 of
this
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, they use public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 more.
Secondly
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,to reduce expenses people tend to buy electric cars
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,it improves the air quality and
lose
Verb problem
causes
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traffic
Use synonyms
 jams.
For instance
Linking Words
, the percentage of using private vehicles
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped sharply in China, after increasing petrol
prices
Use synonyms
.If the government didn’t
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the
prices
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, more and more people travel to work by their own
car
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.That’s why, To avoid air pollution and
congestion
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,
Prices
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 must be increased.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, to eliminate
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
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 and pollution,the government must pass
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
laws which help to decrease these bad processes.To explain,only increasing petrol
prices
Use synonyms
 is not enough and,
also
Linking Words
 there are a lot of steps
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
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 be done.
For instance
Linking Words
,To encourage commuters
using
Change the verb form
to use
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 public transport,free
car
Use synonyms
 parking spaces should be diminished.
As a result
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,it will lead
less
Change preposition
to less
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
Use synonyms
,
on
Correct word choice
and on
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 top of that,it
gets
Verb problem
will
show examples
 better the air quality.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
,the second step must be cutting road lanes,
this
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 is the reason why,it
brings
Verb problem
is
show examples
 discomfort for
car
Use synonyms
 drivers
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to go to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 destination faster,
for example
Linking Words
,they begin using bicycles.Laws were passed by the authority
contiribute
Correct your spelling
contribute
contributed
 to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 a safe and eco-friendly place for all city dwellers.
To sum up
Linking Words
,to force drivers
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
 cars
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
prices
Use synonyms
 should be high,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is not enough and,
also
Linking Words
 government must
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
 significant steps which
helping
Change the form of the verb
help
show examples
 to stabilize the condition.

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introduction conclusion present
Although you provided an introduction and conclusion, both could be more effectively presented. A clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summary of main points in the conclusion could strengthen your essay.
logical structure
The logical sequence of ideas could be improved. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next using a variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing. This can be further enhanced by clear topic sentences and transitions.
supported main points
While main points are supported, they should be expanded with relevant details and explanations that are clearly related to the topic. Aim to support your ideas with a mix of evidence and examples.
complete response
It is important to address all parts of the task fully. Ensure that your essay directly answers the question by addressing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas need to be expressed in a clear and comprehensive manner. You may improve this by planning your essay structure before writing and ensuring each paragraph has one main idea with supporting details.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant examples to illustrate your points effectively. Although you have used some examples, grounding them in concrete, specific situations can make your argument more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • discourage
  • incentivize
  • environmentally friendly
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • pollutants
  • alternative energy sources
  • sustainable economy
  • disproportionately affect
  • daily commuting
  • infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • comprehensive solutions
  • public transportation systems
What to do next:
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