Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the present world, music and theatre as an art has been playing a crucial role. Since several advantages have been noted, it is useful for people's mental health.
However
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, some people argue that authorities should spend funds on public services rather than on art. I disagree with
this
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statement.
Firstly
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, investment in music brings people together from different cultures.
Secondly
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, it has been proven beneficial for our health.
Submitted by neetpunar on

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structure
The essay lacks a proper introduction and conclusion, which are essential for structuring the argument effectively. To improve, consider including a clear introductory paragraph that presents the topic and states your opinion clearly, and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes the main points and restates your stance.
content
You need to ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should contain one main idea, supported by detailed examples or explanations. The essay submitted lacks development in both argumentation and examples. Expand your paragraphs with more comprehensive support for your points.
task completion
Make sure to respond fully to all parts of the task. Address the prompt by discussing why you believe government investment in arts is not a waste and comparing it to public services. Provide a balanced argument with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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