IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

as well as making money, businesses also have responsibilites. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilites
There is no denying the fact that
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 task to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 responsibilities.
While
 it is a commonly held
belife
Correct your spelling
belief
 that making
money
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 all people to find a great
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 and comfortable ways
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 they need it, there is an argument that some
companies
 build the
responsibale
Correct your spelling
responsible
.
To begin
 with, found raising and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 the state of
money
 is very important and
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
beneficial for the employees and
companies
.
In other words
,
while
companies
 are working hard and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great booses perhabs build amazing
carachter’s
Change noun form
carachter
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
also
 save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
 for the time they need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
In addition
, we have been noting some problems it is
irder
Correct your spelling
order
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
money
abd
Correct your spelling
and
 they must
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 an alternative to do it.
For example
,
Coronavirus
Correct article usage
the Coronavirus
show examples
pandimic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 invaded almost
Correct determiner usage
all
show examples
businesses and they
are be
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 closed. Another
boint
Correct your spelling
thing
 to consider,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
companies
 have more responsibilities and immense missions
such
 as
the insures
Wrong verb form
insurance
show examples
 or salaries and they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
circomstances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
circumstance
 and opportunities. It is
also
 possible to say that the
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 employer who
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 his job to gain and raise his company.
Moreover
, we will find a good reputation for many
companies
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the great workers
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 managers.
Forinstance
Correct your spelling
For instance
, as you know we have a huge company it is Aramco which
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 its employees and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a famous business in the Middle East. In conclusion,
dispite
Correct your spelling
despite
 people having different views, I believe that the best one to
rais
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the responsibilities in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social work sharing the work with the plan with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all, and progress the
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
 with them step by
steb
Correct your spelling
step
.
Submitted by M on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should state your position on the topic clearly, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to maintain coherence in the essay. Avoid repetition of words and phrases, and ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with explanations, examples, and arguments. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all supporting sentences are relevant to the main point.
task achievement
Respond to all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Your essay should completely answer the question asked and stay on topic throughout. Address the extent to which you agree or disagree and defend your position with logical arguments and specific examples.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are expressed in a clear, comprehensive, and organized manner. Avoid unclear or ambiguous statements, and make sure each paragraph develops a single idea in a way that is easy to understand.
task achievement
Include relevant examples to support your claims. Examples should be specific and adequately illustrate the arguments you are making. Avoid overly general statements that do not effectively back up your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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