Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level? What could individuals do to help?

#traffic #roads #country #world #amount #society #level #individuals

Over the

last

decades,

traffic

has caused multiple

issues

in many communities.

Furthermore

, car accident risk and pollution risk are higher than ever before worldwide.

Consequently

, there is a deep need to

tackling

Wrong verb form

tackle

show examples

this

problem sooner than later.

This

essay will discuss the measures that can be taken as a civilization and as individuals.

Firstly

, authorities need to take action with modern transport strategies that include new legislation. Regulating

traffic

is of paramount importance so as to decrease

traffic

issues

Therefore

, the government should implement new measures

such

as setting

"park

Change preposition

up "park

show examples

and ride" schemes and implementing money in order to subsidy means of transport. In

this

way

, people would be encouraged to choose public transportation as a

way

of commuting, reducing both emissions coming from vehicles and car crashes.

Secondly

, individuals must seek to educate themselves about the

issues

in the usage of automobiles. In

this

way

, citizens will not involve themselves in negligent acts,

in other words

drink-driving

Verb problem

driving

show examples

and joyriding.

Similarly

, awareness about pollution would be raised, making people opt for alternatives to mobility.

For instance

, if more inhabitants educated themselves, a bigger proportion of them would choose cycling to their jobs and homes in cycle lanes,

as well as

public transport.

Therefore

smoke

Wrong verb form

smoking

show examples

in cities will be reduced. In conclusion, heavy

traffic

brings detrimental effects in urban areas. It does not only affect the environment with contamination, but it

also

risks people's

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Politicians play a key role in regulating the number of cars that can go in and out of cities.

Likewise

, individuals must start paying attention to these

issues

. In

this

way

, they will start choosing greener and safer modes of reaching their destinations.

Submitted by tamaracheroki on Sat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have organized the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, which is good practice. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, ensuring that each paragraph naturally leads to the next. Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

While the main ideas are relevant to the essay topic, they need to be developed further. Providing clear examples and data to support your arguments will strengthen your essay. Also, personal pronouns should be used cautiously in formal academic writing.

task achievement

The response to the task is somewhat complete, but the scope of discussion could be broader. You should discuss a more diverse range of solutions to address both aspects of the question comprehensively. Emphasize societal-level solutions equally to individual-level solutions.

task achievement

There's a tendency to present ideas in general terms. Strive to provide clear, comprehensive ideas that are well illustrated with specific and relevant examples. These examples can be hypothetical but should be directly related to the question prompt.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level? What could individuals do to help?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therfore caertain jobs are suitable for men and others women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is said that people’s life now is becoming more and more stressful. What are the causes and how to solve it?

Some people believe that anyone can create art such as painting, poetry, music and so on. Others think that a person should have special abilities to create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both the view and give your own opinion.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.