IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.
#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender
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There are two line
graph
Fix the agreement mistake
graphs
show examples
, the first one illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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each gender's participation
of
Change preposition
in
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 several types of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 in a nation,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 second one displays the time span they spend on each task per
day
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 more women do the household and they spend more time than men
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 most
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
.
However
, house repair is the only exception. Over 80% of the
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 spend their time
on
Change preposition
apply
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cooking, and it takes more than 80
minutes
 in their everyday life.
In contrast
, only 60% of the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 cook at home, and it
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
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 60
minutes
 a
day
.
Similarly
, female
also
 participates more and longer in house cleaning, it is 60% of the participation and nearly 70
minutes
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
day
, which is 20% higher than men in both portions.
Nevertheless
, Male joins the house repairs more often, 20% of them
join
Verb problem
apply
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take part in
this
 household and spend about 20
minutes
 per
day
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is twice more than
female which
Fix the agreement mistake
females who
show examples
 has only 8% participation and 5
minutes
 each
day
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words day, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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