Shopping is the favourite free time activity for many young people today. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time rather than shopping?
Owing to technology and
Wrong verb form
advanced
advance
development, young Replace the word
advanced
people
became
more Wrong verb form
have become
Replace the word
aware
awareness
Replace the word
aware
Change preposition
of
in
fashion and how to Change preposition
of
be in
a nice lookVerb problem
have
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
therefore
they spend more time Change preposition
apply
in
shopping rather than doing other Change preposition
apply
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beneficial
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
activities
. This
will will
articulate the reason Remove the redundancy
apply
of
Change preposition
for
this
statement as well as
other paremount
Correct your spelling
paramount
activities
than shopping.
To commence with the reasons of
why young Change preposition
apply
people
like shopping in their free tim
. The major and foremost reason is Correct your spelling
time
those kind
of communities desire to be more fashionable in Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
additional
to Replace the word
addition
be
proud in front of others Wrong verb form
being
especially
their friend. Particularly those Add the comma(s)
, especially
people
who have their own channels in different applications. My uncle is one of
good example from the start Change preposition
apply
doing
his channel Change preposition
of doing
in
different kinds of platforms, he really became more Change preposition
on
fashion
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fashionable, and
also
he has been
completely Unnecessary verb
apply
Change
his way of addressing, Change the verb form
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Changed
thus
he spend
most of his free time Change the verb form
spends
on line
shopping.Correct your spelling
online
consequently
, perhaps these reasons are conveniens
for adolescents whine like shopping.
Answering the other question it seems to me Correct your spelling
convenient
yes
individuals in their middle and Add the comma(s)
, yes
roses
ages should do other crucial Change the noun form
rose
activities
rather than shopping. To be more precisely
, Change the word
precise
ther
are some other important and positive Correct your spelling
there
activities
like reading doing
exercises Correct word choice
and doing
in addition
to this
traveling
and visiting friends. As a Change the spelling
travelling
results
of all these Correct the article-noun agreement
result
activities
young Add a comma
activities,
people
have achose
and Correct your spelling
chosen
chose
diffrent
to be more successful and have Correct your spelling
different
agreat
life.
In conclusion, it seems to me the most reasonable for Correct your spelling
a great
great
spending
more time Wrong verb form
spend
on
shopping especially Change preposition
apply
young
Change preposition
for young
people
is social a great look and social media, additionally
they should to
do other Change the verb form
apply
more
Venice Correct quantifier usage
apply
activities
rather than shopping.Submitted by fatima1173 on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Provide a full and relevant response to each question in the prompt.
task achievement
Clearly express ideas using appropriate vocabulary and varied sentence structures. Avoid repetition and strive for clarity.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate points. Relate the examples directly to the question to demonstrate understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
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