Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
There are debates on
a
course selection for university students in terms of their necessity. Correct article usage
apply
While
others might think it is essential to focus on mandatory subjects that are beneficial in their future career, I believe that people
should take additional courses, since it
can expand their Correct pronoun usage
they
knowledge
as well as
skills
.
Devoting time and energy to learn
essential subjects for work preparation can easily make Wrong verb form
learning
people
have a successful career path in their workplace. For some people
, being a smart person that
Correct pronoun usage
who
exceed
the qualifications Change the verb form
exceeds
from
the company, Change preposition
of
consequently
lead
them to step Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
the
next level. Take an illustration of someone who has Change preposition
to the
mastering
Wrong verb form
mastered
knowledge
on
programming and decoding Change preposition
of
programmes
that are required Correct your spelling
programs
from
the company. When they become Change preposition
by
employee
in that place, they certainly will be recognizable by many Add an article
an employee
people
and have a likelihood to be involved in many projects, thus
resulting in a quick promotion. However
, I think studying only for qualifications will only
limit the students’ opportunity to nourish themselves with other Rephrase
apply
knowledge
as it might be useful too during their work period.
On the other hand
, additional subjects are having
roles in not only constructing new Wrong verb form
have
knowledge
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
certain skills
. Generally, when people
are enrolling themselves into optional courses, they are generating new abilities that will subliminally improve their soft and hard skills
area, hence
consequently
adding values
to their personal branding. Fix the agreement mistake
value
Furthemore
, different areas Correct your spelling
Furthermore
also
help students to be more adaptable, once their paths are not going as they expected or calculated,
since they Remove the comma
apply
already
equipped with Add a missing verb
are already
back-up
Correct your spelling
backup
skills
. I support this
view because apart from adding information to enrich knowledge
, learning should be media to improve students’ abilities to
Change preposition
in
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
areas
and circumstances.
Change preposition
of areas
To conclude
, studying to fulfill certain qualifications in job
might help students to achieve an excellent career path, but learning different areas Correct article usage
a job
are
more crucial to build Correct subject-verb agreement
is
another
Replace the adjective
another skill
other skills
skills
for them.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
When addressing the topic, it's crucial to ensure that each paragraph presents a clear topic sentence and follows with supporting details that stay relevant. Consider refining support examples in each paragraph for a more robust argument. Although you provided examples, make them more specific to the point you are making to add weight to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical flow with an introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, make sure you clearly introduce your main points in the introduction and refer back to them in the conclusion to strengthen the overall structure. Work on the transitions between ideas and paragraphs so they knit together more seamlessly. Also, consider varying your linking words and phrases to demonstrate a wide range of coherence tools.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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