IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #student #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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It is said that students should
study
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 only those
subjects
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 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 useful in life, like
science
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 and
technology
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,
while
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 others, including me, believe that university students ought to
study
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 whatever they want and like.
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On
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In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the one
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, Studying useful lessons,
such
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 as
science
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 and
technology
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 has some benefits.
Firstly
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, these lessons have better job opportunities in future. As the main part of the world will be controlled by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things related to
technology
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 and
science
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, studying these kinds of
subjects
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 will be important.
Also
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,
subjects
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 that are related to
science
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 and
technology
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 could solve many problems that are happening around us.
In
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On
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 the other hand, following our favourite
subjects
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 in university has many advantages.
Firstly
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, if pupils
study
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 whatever they like, the possibility of being successful in future will increase.
For example
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, if we
study
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 a lesson that we like, the hardship of
lesson
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the lesson
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 will become more easy.
Also
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, if we follow our dreams and
study
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 whatever we like, we do not regret
in
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it in
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 future. I believe that we live once,
therefore
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 we should do whatever we want. In conclusion,
Although
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subjects
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 like
science
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 and
technology
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 have better job positions and because of
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
technology
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, they will govern
world
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the world
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, I agree with
this
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 idea that state it is better to
study
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subjects
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 that we like because we will not regret
many
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it many
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 years later and because of interest and passion, we do better.
Submitted by kk.1379 on

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task achievement
The essay does not adequately address the full prompt. Both viewpoints and your own opinion are needed with sufficiently developed arguments. Consider unpacking each view with clear examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay suffers from poor logical structuring, with ideas presented somewhat haphazardly. To improve, use clear paragraphs to delineate your introduction, main body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one main idea or argument.
coherence cohesion
To increase coherence and cohesion, ensure to use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences that clearly signal the main point of each paragraph. The introduction and the conclusion are present but they require more precision and development.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need better development. Support each viewpoint with relevant examples and reasons. This will help make your arguments more persuasive and cogent.
task achievement
Specific examples are either lacking or not adequately explored. Use concrete and detailed examples to back up your points. This will help to clearly convey your opinion and show an understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivation
  • Well-rounded education
  • Critical thinking
  • Job markets
  • Economic demand
  • Skilled workers
  • Practical application
  • Innovation
  • Societal progress
  • Passion
  • Pragmatism
  • Future job prospects
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